TSHP126: How to Combat Tiredness & Fatigue

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What’s Coming This Episode?

If you want to do anything in life you’ll need just one thing – ENERGY (it’s science). Trouble is, a lot of us aren’t equipped with as much energy as we could/should have. Tiredness and fatigue can be supremely limiting in our lives so how can we overcome them?

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How to Beat Tiredness and Fatigue

Fatigue – maybe you can lift it with some positive mindfulness

Fatigue is a different thing to tiredness. Tiredness can be resolved with a little rest or sleep. Fatigue is like being bone tired, it is deep down inside you and the more embedded that it becomes the more it takes to get beyond it and hopefully get rid of it.

The experience of fatigue has been given many titles, some of which are accepted by the medical profession and some are referred to psychology as though they do not really exist. From my work as a psychotherapist I see many forms of fatigue. In most cases the experience of fatigue is a learned habit, and as you know from the live in the present work, all habits can be changed or replaced.

Let’s have a look at a few reasons for fatigue.

Under-load is the opposite of over-load. When someone is under-loaded they have little or nothing to do. This is the classic couch potato. There is weight gain, poor diet, and a resultant lack of energy.

Clinical depression is when the body chemistry is out of balance and can only be adjusted with medication. This chemical imbalance can create feelings of fatigue. Clinical depression is mainly treated with medication and psychotherapeutic support

Reactive depression is when we have been subjected to an emotional trauma that has effected our body chemistry and created an imbalance. Again medication will help but the key here is psychotherapy.

SAD seasonal depression is when the vitamin D levels drop in the winter due to the reduced sunlight. This can be treated with vitamin D supplements.

Repressed anger is when people have internalised anger about people or events that is not dealt with or resolved. This is an issue

Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome (PVFS) this is when the body system has been compromised by the infection and needs to rebuild itself. Some medication will help but in most cases it is time, good food, and rest.

The following are not recognised by all medical authorities who can sometimes write off people’s fatigue as psycho-somatic. These include:
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome CFS
Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome CFIDs

However, my colleagues in the pain clinic successfully treat many forms of fatigue using traditional medicine, psychotherapy and acupuncture.

Over-coming fatigue usually means that you have to take responsibility for your own system and become the expert in your own body. Rule out health problems first.

So here are some ideas that you might consider.

Lack of sleep is bad for you. If you cant sleep find out why and do something about it. Excess weight will make you tired, as will stress. If you find that you feel down in the winter get a vitamin D test, talk to your GP and maybe consider investigating St John’s Wart a herbal broad spectrum anti-depressant.

Exercise – get your heart beating fast for thirty minutes everyday
Yoga – is a good way to promote feelings of relaxation and reduce fatigue in you muscles
Hydrate – with water, drink around 2 litres a day
Bed early – get enough sleep but not too much
Meditate – research suggests that the ratio of meditation to sleep is about 5 to 1, that means that 10 minutes good meditation or relaxation is the equivalent of 50 minutes of sleep
Siestas! Afternoon nap – and power napping can boost your energy and you immune system

The last bit is have some fun. Laughter and smiles can raise your spirit and reduce your feelings of fatigue.

Take care

Sean x

TSHP125: What are #FOMO and #Phubbing?

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What’s Coming This Episode?

No matter how great our life is, there will always be someone out there doing something that you’d like to be doing. #FOMO (the fear of missing out) is an issue that social media has amplified, so let’s have a chat about it…

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

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“Have You Ever Been Fubbed (Phubbed)?”

Ed asked me this when we were recording the podcast this week. My mind went on a riot of mainly rude thoughts trying to work out what fubbing could be. Well, it turns out that being fubbed is like being snubbed but the snubber is on their phone and ignoring you. I wonder if that should be Phubbed or Fubbed? Just Googled it and it is Phubbed.

Everybody that I know seems to have texter’s thumb that dances around like a fiddlers elbow having meaningful communication with those absent from the scene. One day I was in the local Gusto having a meal and when I looked up there was a table of eight people all on their phones and phubbing each other.

One sure thing is that when we lock into our devices, phones and tablets, we cease to live in the present. We are no longer in the surrounding environment. Often at least 90% of our consciousness is miles, if not millennia away. We cease to be where we are, with those around us or even with ourselves. We have become lost in the virtual world of…whatever?

I have been pondering the concept of snubbing others and the extension to the phone and phubbing and I am wondering what people felt like when the book came out. People that had once been chatty, social and engaged were now locked into the internalised fantasy in the their relationship with the book. I bet people looked at them and were offended by their excluding behaviour. Perhaps that would have been seen as being Bubbed.

But such things happen all the time, the person who is lost in the Tv. Is that Tubbed? Or when you are lost in a movie, Mubbed?

Maybe we Ub other people a lot.

The Ub has to be that moment when you disconnect with where you are and with those around you and are off somewhere in your head. You maybe there for a moment or minutes.

Mindfulness is the act of being present to your self in the moment. That is why meditation is so powerful because in body and breath focussed practise you cannot get much closer to yourself and your reality of being in the moment. When we Ub we lose that sense of living in the now. I think the worst Ub you can do is to Ub yourself. In ceasing to be present to yourself you can cause yourself untold physical, emotional and mental damage.

I think about those eight people around the table, what would it be like if one of them had looked up from their device to find that everyone else had left and that they were alone. What about the partner who looks up from their device to find they are now single. The driver who looks up from their device to find that they are now in A&E or the funeral parlour.

There are rumours in psychology that society is gradually becoming more autistic or aspergers. This means less social skills, less empathy, less connection with others. I guess we may see a split between those that live in an immediate hand on sensual world and those that live out a virtual existence.

One last thought. If the world that you are living in is so disengaging that you would rather Phub it, why are you in it? And if you do phub it for too long you may well find that when you do finally look from your device that your world has changed or that you are alone. Remember what you feed grows and what you starve dies.

I can imagine a world that creates a new set of concepts- “You Dirty Phubber”, “How dare you phub me, I’m out of here”, “Phub off”.

Be happy and try looking up from your device every now and then. You might actually enjoy living in the present.

Take care

Sean x

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do – but does it have to be?

In this weeks podcast Ed and I have been talking about people splitting up. The process emotionally damages too many people, children included.

A large part of my psychotherapeutic week involves working with couples. Relationship counselling is an active part of the therapeutic world. Generally breaking up is hard to do but, does it have to be? For many this will always be ‘yes’ but for some it can be ‘no’.

All psychological and emotional change starts from the same place, this is forgiveness. To forgive means to forego or let go. When couples split it is because something has gone wrong, perhaps one person in the relationship has done something that is unacceptable and the end happens.
Anyone who has been through the divorce process will know that the only people that benefit from a couples inability to communicate are the solicitors.

Norwich Union (now called Aviva) published a study on the Cost of Divorce. The study said the average divorce costs a couple around £39,000. This figure includes things like the cost of setting up a new home, buying personal items (e.g., a second car), and lost personal savings.

There is also the issue of pension rights that have an on-going effect.

Actually, in the UK you can get divorced, using the DIY system through the county court, for as little as £600.00. But this is only if you can communicate with each other and come to a shared agreement.

Therapy can help
When I work with couples it is not always on the basis of looking for ways to get back together or make things work. Often people who wish to bring their relationship to a positive end will seek advice, mediation and negotiation and in so doing create the least damage to the children and themselves and to do so at a minimal cost.

On many occasions one or both people will feel that they have been injured by their relationship. When this happens couples are seen for both individual and couples therapy. This may include using another therapist, often female. This has the advantage of both people feeling that they have support and often there will be four of us involved in the negotiations that lead to a resolution. And, as I said earlier this may be to create a re-union or a split.

I get couples to write a contract either way, staying together or splitting up. They sign this and then we police it.

Communication is the key to breaking up but in divorce we have two people who have probably come to the end because they couldn’t communicate in the first place. If you always do the same things in the same way you get the same results and that is what couples often do. This is why an independent unbiased therapist can be so helpful.

As a last idea, most people coming out of a relationship feel that they will never do that again or that the will never meet another person and never have another relationship. In reality within two years most people are back into a relationship.

Take care, be happy and carry on communicating with your partner.

Sean x

TSHP124: Does Divorce Have to Be Painful?

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What’s Coming This Episode?

No marriage has ever begun with divorce as the goal, but the reality is that divorce is something that many marriages conclude with. But do they have to be quite so awful, painful and expensive? Maybe not…

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

Resource of the Week

  • Sean suggests you head to your nearest App Store and search for ‘divorce’. There are a surprising number of great apps and even kids books out there
  • Ed has just switched his household energy to 100% renewably sourced electricity. Do your bit and sign up with Good Energy today

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Desensitisation

What is a Chakra?

A Chakra is a wheel, or a vortex of energy that exists on many levels in the body. Different system define a chakra is various ways.

The Brain
We think of the brain as a lump of tissue in our skull. Try thinking of your brain as your entire nervous system. Your spinal column connects through synapsis, to every nerve in your body, it is all one organ. Nervous plexuses are formed at seven main points in the system. These are at the crown of your head, your forehead, throat, middle of your chest, solar plexus, just below your navel, and in you perineum between your legs. The amount of nervous energy at each plexus is dictated by the amount needed at any one site. Some are more active than others.

The Endocrine System
Associated with each plexus is an endocrine organ. The crown of your head is the Pineal Gland, forehead, the Pituitary Gland, throat, the Thyroid Gland, chest, the Thymus Gland, solar plexus, the Pancreas, the navel, the adrenal glands, the perineum, the gonads. Each gland contributes hormones into the body system. Different glands will respond differently in different people. Some systems may be dominated by the gonadal hormones while others may be dominated by the pituitary and so on. The entire system talks to itself via the cardio vascular system and hormones are delivered to where they are needed in the blood stream.

The Traditional Chakra System
In the Yogic and Ayurvedic systems of both mind and body each chakra is given a Sanskrit name and has associated characteristics. The crown chakra is the Sahasaram and is associated with creativity. The forehead chakra, the Ajna is associated with sensitivity and harmony. The throat chakra, the Vishuddi is associated with thought and cognition. The heart chakra, the Anhatta, is associated with emotion and power. The solar plexus chakra is associated with intellect and perceptual experience. The navel chakra is associated with sensuality, friendship and family. The base chakra in perineum is associated the body as a whole, sexuality and physical action or behaviour.

The Seven Yoga
The Rishes, or researchers, recognised that people were dominated physically, emotionally and mentally by the hormones of particular chakras that created different personality types. To cater for the self development needs of the differing personality types the Rishes identified seven ways of being that became known as the Yogas. Yoga comes from the root word Yug or to gather. A yoga is all the information that has been gathered and understood about that chakra. The seven yogas are:

Tantra – concerned with the creative imagination
Raja – concerned with meditative and spiritual practice
Mantra – concerned with the mind, thought and the spoken word
Bhakti – concerned with the control of power and the development of service to others
Jnana – concerned with the intellect, experiment and research of new ideas
HaTha – concerned balancing the energy of the body, mind and emotion to create stability
Karma – concerned with the rightness of action

While many personality types followed a single yogic path there were some who followed all seven, this is known as Ashtanga or Integral Yoga.

Bio – Energy
Many people and systems identify the chakras as colours that can be seen in the bio-energetic energy that emanates from and surrounds the body. This energy, that can know be photographed using a Kirlean camera, was traditionally termed the Aura. The colours in the aura depend on the openness of each chakra. Those who have studied the chakra system in depth have worked to develop a form of Ayurvedic psychology. Over time, in the west this has become a form of spectral psychology, which identifies the colours of the chakras and their primary drives.

Crown – Pineal – Creativity – Violet
Forehead – Pituitary – Intuition – Indigo
Throat – Thyroid – Conceptual – mind Blue
Chest – Thymus – Emotion – Green
Solar Plexus – Pancreas – Intellectual – mind Yellow
Navel – Adrenal – Social/sensual – Orange
Perineum – Gonads – Sexual/Behavioural – Red

Spectral Psychology
From all the work alluded to above a small group of western psychologists and other practitioners have, and continue to develop the understanding of the spectral model of psychology. The notables that I have worked with are Christopher Hills, Kevin Kingsland, David Pike, and a few others. David Pike and myself are hoping to prepare a publication that will go into the concepts of spectral psychology and therapy in depth.

There is plenty to read on the chakra system so have a good google. If you want to dive into some good yoga psychology check out Ramurti Mishra, Text Book of Yoga Psychology.

Take care

Sean x

TSHP123: The Physical Effects of Emotion

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What’s Coming This Episode?

A listener request this week as Sean and Ed dive into the relationship between emotional and physical pain. It’s a fascinating world and one that we’re only just beginning to understand (in the West at least)…

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

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TSHP122: Why Do We Stop Playing?

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Growing up ain’t no fun… literally! We laugh less and we play less, but why?! Over to Sean and Ed to cast some light on the issue…

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

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When Did You Last Play?

Watch a couple of children when they first meet each other, how long is it before they start playing with each other? Usually not very long. The thing about children is they do not need permission to play, they do not need to organise it, they just simply do it. When did you last play?

‘We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.’
George Bernard Shaw/Benjamin Franklin

There are two forms of play, productive and passive. Productive play is, for me, more like doing work. It includes things like athletic racing, football, cricket, rugby and so on. The thing about productive play is that we are seeking an outcome that creates winners and losers. Passive play just involves fun; there is no winning it is just playing for playing’s sake.

Whatever form of play you participate in helps with so many things. We are helped in our developmental stages with brain development, body development and emotional development as in play fighting helps kids learn the limits of aggression.

Research shows that play, in many forms including cognitive play like scrabble and crosswords, sudoku and other puzzles can help prevent alzheimer’s, dementia, depression and increase motivation.

The big issue is fun. Playing is, or should be, enjoyable, it makes us feel good, happy, helps us bond with others and create social connections. We learn to co-operate, negotiate and communicate.

Some of the good reasons to play is to develop life skills, to learn, to create, to feel challenged, to lose ourselves in a pleasurable activity, to be calm, focussed, and to work co-operatively.

We know that play can: relieve stress, trigger the release of endorphins, that promote an overall sense of well-being, they can also relieve pain. Raised endorphins strengthen our immune system

Couples that spontaneously play, improve their relationship, share laughter, develop empathy, compassion, trust, intimacy and sexuality. Play can also loosen you up in stressful situations and break the ice with strangers.

We live in a world that separates our life into work and play. If we get to do what we want with our live we cease to work and begin to play. It might just be that if you learn to play and enjoy your life that you will never need to work again. You can play all day.

Take care and be happy.

Sean x