TSHP420: What’s the point?

What’s Coming This Episode?

Following on from recent podcasts, this week we want to look at the meaning of life. Many of us see ourselves as not who we but by what we do, which takes us back to the idea are we human beings or human doings. What is the point? Well, let’s find out…

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

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What is the point?

Turning the covid experience into positive joy 

Following on from recent podcasts this week I want to look at the meaning of life. Many of us see ourselves as not who we but by what we do, which takes me back to the idea are we human beings or human doings. In lockdown, furlough and absence from the work place many people have lost that sense of identity on the basis of, if I am what I do and now I am not doing it who am I? It is a short step from having no identity to feeling that life is pointless. What is the point?

In the work that I do in both private and public organisations the lack of purpose and direction, during lockdown, has created stress that leads to a lack of motivation and feeling of what is the point? Those that feel that they do have a point have managed to maintain a clear direction and purpose, they are more energise and even dynamic. Those that feel that they have a direction and a purpose suffer less from stress related conditions. 

Having a direction is having a purpose.

This can takes us to the fundamental questions of life. When life feels meaningless and we feel we have lost our purpose in life our value can feel diminished. Many people question their own validity and why they are alive.

Question: What is the purpose of your life?

That is a big question and is the one that can create a lot of stress and can lead to… 

Why are we here? What’s is life all about? What happens when we die?

The deal is that we all need to fill in space in between birth and death. We can either find a meaningful way to do that or we can blunder through and try to cope and survive this thing called ‘life’. Often we have no need to think about these deep issue. We are born, we go to work, raise our families and eventually retire. Unless something happens to make us question life then it simply just is.

When we ask the questions why I am alive and what I am supposed to be doing with my life we will get a variety of answers. Biologists tell us that our role is to reproduce. Some scientist tell us that life is just a chance mistake and that we should just put up with it. The religious lobby tells us generally that life is hard and life is earnest and that we are here to learn and grow in a spiritual way and, that if we are good we will get our reward in heaven. One priest told me that we all have “our own cross to bear” and that we should see suffering as a good thing. Hey ho.

It seems to me that life is supposed to be happy thin and that each of us is entitled to our own fulfilment. Suffering to me is a bad thing but there are  those who believe that we all have to suffer. Suffering is a bad deal, I don’t like that and don’t want it, you can keep it.

So, my thinking goes this way. If we are going to live a happy life then we need to devote time to  doing things that make us happy. The question for all of us  is what is it that makes us happy? I guess this is another question point.

Question: What is it that would make you happy?

Despite Covid and lockdown and travel restriction and all the rest of it that will, in all likelihood, go on for a long time yet, we need to find our own happiness.

My life is simple I am happy when I have a supportive family and I can playing music and work with people. Working with people is a large part of my life, it is something that makes sense to me out of the mad things going on in life…

If all look after each other we will all be ok

Working with other people because it makes me feel good, it makes me smile and it gives my life a sense of purpose. If I got more joy from collecting stamps, being in the army or being a mortician I would be doing those things instead. 

As I talk to people as we are going through the Covid experience I see that the change in the way we have been living has made many people question their life. I have seen relationships created or  strengthened and damaged or destroyed. I have seen people create their purpose and start, or plan to start, new projects and businesses. It is as though the suffering and stress of the covid experience has shaken people into making decision and facing up to life.

The extensions of joy

Right now in this Covid madness it is good to take some time to consider your life purpose and meaning and decide what you are going to do with it. The weird thing is that when you do connect with your purpose it really is exciting and creates joy and  inspiration. 

What ever you decide to do with your life let it be joyful, and it is wonderful if the life that you are now living creates your purpose and your joy, cherish it.

Take care and be happy.

Sean x

TSHP419: Truth, Lies & Frustration

What’s Coming This Episode?

Whatever happens with lockdowns and easing the issue will always be the same. We all need to survive this thing called ‘life’. Success at any level of life takes commitment and time and consistent and persistent action. Time to be persistently and consistently kind and we might just make it.

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

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Truth, Lies & Frustration

“Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable”

George Orwell

George Orwell author of Animal Farm described a political landscape that I am starting to see all around me. I see laws and rule being created only then to see them not being  followed or totally ignored by those people who created them in the first place. The obvious is the fiasco of Dominic Cummings and the Barnard Castle affair.

‘All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others’

In the Orwell story the pigs are the political leaders of the farm community, a bit unfair to pigs but I get her point. The leaders start off by staying that all the animals on the farm are equal. Over time, as the leaders fail to uphold the very rules that they had created they decided to change it slightly. So now, ‘some’, being them, were more equal than others.

Today I have been listening to a business person who is incandescent with rage with our leaders. This is because the restriction rules, that have not ever applied to any of them, are now to be further extended. This is now seen as their intention all along and that they are all a ‘bunch of lying bleep bleeps’. This person who I have previously seen as a mild mannered person is now on the edge of direct action and sounding almost mutinous. Then they quoted Harv Eker at me. Harv Eker is the author of the millionaire mind which is both a course and a book enabling people to reach their desired potential.

‘No one ever changed the world by watching X Factor’

Harv Eker,  famously said this quote. In reality I suspect that no one ever did anything while watching X Factor. Marx once said that religion was the opiate of the people, the thing that kept them quiet and kin their place. I suspect that religion has now been overtaken by the various forms of media that fill our lives and often have the effect of stopping us doing things and being creative.

How many hours do we spend each week doing nothing other that being intoxicated by the media on our phones, tablets and televisions?  Often we watch other people, that the media present to us as icons of success, many of us watch and wish that we were  famous or as rich like them. Yet when we are watching the box we are not doing the things that would give us the very things that we desire. If religion once served to keep us the people quiet acquiescent and in order has television and the media now have taken the place of religion as the social drug that numbs the senses of the public so that most of us do very little and just accept a lot?  

The business person that I was talking to was saying that have all become an apathetic bunch of yes people who now just do what we are told and never question anything. Least of all BoJo and his team.

In a very real way the world is changing. The climate is changing. With Brexit economically and politically things are changing. With Covid 19 plus variants everything is changing.

The only constant thing in life is change 

Heraclitus

The universe that we inhabit is subject to constant the change. We call it evolution or decay. Nothing ever stays the same. However, most change is gradual. Occasionally change is sudden abrupt and intense.

The person who has been sharing their frustrations with me is talking a need to actively do something about the situation. This quite shocked me because they would be seen as a pillar of the community and a part of the constant unchanging landscape of life supporting the status quo come what may. If they are getting in the mood for rebellion, then, I see society in trouble and at a much deeper level that people can imagine.

We seem to be at a point where big change is coming. The problem is that when change happens creatively and productively we move forward together. When change happens without a coherent plan and is imposed on us it can be both devastating and difficult.

Maybe it is not quite the time to man (person)  the barricades but it might not be that fare off.  As I keep saying…

If we all look after each other we will all be okay

Whatever happens with lockdowns and easing the issue will always be the same. We all need to survive this thing called ‘life’. Success at any level of life takes commitment and time and consistent and persistent action. Time to be persistently and consistently kind and we might just make it.

Take care

Sean x

TSHP418: Creating your safe place

What’s Coming This Episode?

At times of stress we all need somewhere to go that is stress free to relax and rest our system. This reduces stress hormone and blood pressure improves mood and makes us happier. At the present time the need to get away from the stresses of everyday life have rarely been greater.

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

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Creating your safe place

At times of stress we all need somewhere to go that is stress free to relax and rest our system. This reduces stress hormone and blood pressure improves mood and makes us happier. At the present time the need to get away from the stresses of everyday life have rarely bee greater.

If you are lucky you have a physical place that you can to and just chill and relax.  It might a special place near where you live. Or it might be somewhere like a room in your house. It could simply be chair or a special corner of a room.

Using a mobile safe space

However if you can’t find anywhere around you there are other options. It may be difficult to create a safe place while you are at work. At home have kids or family to look after. Or you might be in a situation where there is no place to go or nowhere in your home. It is then that you need a mobile safe place that you can access at anytime, anywhere in any situation. This is when you need to go within yourself and create an internal safe place. Then you can simply close your eyes and just go there. The more you visit your safe place the easier and quicker it is to get to.

Safe place and your brain

Right in the centre of your brain is the amygdala. This is a tiny almond shaped organ that is responsible for the stress response that is called ‘fight, flight or freeze’. The amygdala becomes aroused, for reasons often below your awareness. These could be unresolved emotional issues, you may need therapy, or current stressful situations. Then stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol are released in the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response. These are designed to keep us safe as a common reaction to threat and stress that allows us to respond. When the system is often activated in this way we call it anxiety. If the activation is continuous when no real stressor remains present it is described as generalise anxiety disorder or GAD. However the pressures of everyday life can lead to a continued level of stress hormones in our body and brain.

Cardiovascular responses

When our system is in continual stress response of fight, flight, freeze the stress hormones negatively effect our cardiovascular system. The first thing that happens is raised blood pressure. With this come the increased risk of heart attack and stroke. Hi blood pressure often underlies many diseases. The second is the with continual levels stress hormone, adrenaline and cortisol etc, can lead to a hardening of the arteries which further increases the incidence of heart attack and stroke. It can also be the cause of vascular dementia. In reality stress hormone is probably the biggest cause of heart attack, stroke and vascular dementia above all other causes.

Relaxation 

In our society many people are doers not be-ers. The ability to just ‘be’ is an art form. When we give more value to what we do and what we achieve rather than how well we can relax and simply just ‘be’ then life goes out of balance. Creating a safe place rebalances the system and teaches us to learn ‘be’ rather than continually doing.

Meditation and a safe place 

The ability to meditate can be part of creating a safe place. Meditating is not doing something though it is actively doing something it is being. To learn to simply ‘be’ through the process of meditation will transform your cardiovascular system and your psychological mood. Making you happier and healthier.  Meditation is a technique, there are many techniques, and creating a safe place is a method using a visualised space that you create in your mind. Both meditation and visualise safe place have beneficial effects on health and mood.

Finding your safe place

If you close your eyes, relax and visualise a safe place where would it be? It could be somewhere that you have visited such as a park or a wood. It might be your family home or a room. It could be complete a fantasy that you have created in your mind. It is somewhere where nothing can hurt and nothing can harm, where all you need to do is to relax, free from the stresses and anxieties of your everyday life. When you visit that space you are completely and utterly safe and secure.

Come to the beach

On the Live In The Present website in the mindfulness toolbox you will find a recording called The Beach. This a guided relaxation/meditation for you to visualise and create your own safe place. You construct your own beach. It might be one that you already know or one that you could imagine would be your ideal, perfect beach. 

Essentially a visualise safe place is somewhere where you can go in an instant at any time where nobody wants anything and nobody needs anything. Where you are completely and utterly safe and completely secure. Where nothing can hurt you and nothing can harm you al you have to do is relax and simply just be. Regular, even daily, use of an inner safe place can be life transforming to the point where people may ask you what is different about because you seem so different and calm.  When you learn to use your safe place you will find that the things that once made you feel stressed and anxious now make you feel calm. This is because they no longer have a negative effect on your amygdala and your levels of stress hormone are now drastically reduced. Pretty good for the investment of twenty minutes a day, and you might even life a longer, happier and healthier life.

Be happy stay safe and enjoy your safe space

Sean x 

TSHP417: Competition – Is Winning Worth It?

What’s Coming This Episode?

There’s no getting away from completion. It starts at an early age when we start taking tests at school and continues on through our business and social lives. But is it a healthy thing? It put a man on the moon, for sure, but has also lead to some awful atrocities through history. Let’s dive in…

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

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