Why All Self Help Books Should Carry a Disclaimer

How many self help books have you read? How many do you own?

The other day I was having a chat with a friend. She raised one problem after another and I said, “have you read …?”

“Oh Yes” she says, “I’ve had that book for years”.

“But have you actually read it?” I said,

“Well, bits of it” she replied.

I have met so many people who have every self help book under the sun, their shelves are lined with them. All of the usual suspects are there: Susan Jeffers, Louise Hay, John Graham, Rhonda Byrne, Joe Vitale, Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, Gay Hendricks, Harv Eker… I wander over to the CD/DVD rack and there they all are in audio. “Have you listened to these?” “Well…!”

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions then the road to self discovery would seem to be paved with unread self help books (plus a smattering of audio books too).

I know lots of people who collect books on self help but never read them. Perhaps they buy one, flick through it and then put it to one side with the intention of coming back to it, but never do. They then wonder why nothing ever changes. These people appear to buy books in the same way that I’ll tend to join the gym. Good intentions.

A few years ago Rie and I bought a membership to a gym. They were doing one of those special offers for health workers. Like most people we went for a while and then i started using the usual excuse of being too busy and I gradually stopped going. Well, not quite, I did drop in on occasions with Rie, or for coffee, or to use the loo every now and then. It became the most expensive toilet I have ever used. We did eventually cancel the membership, but for a while it was as though the mere act of paying the subscription, or the knowledge that we were members, would in some strange way make us fit and healthy.

I think the same thing happens to people with self help books. There is some strange belief that mere ownership of the book, the fact that it is on display in the bookcase for all to see will, in some strange way, fill them with the knowledge from within the pages without them ever needing to read the words. It is as though there must be some form of spiritual osmosis that will transfer the lessons and the knowledge from the book to the mind.

I know people that will carry a book with them in their bag with the full intention of reading it when they are on transport or on a lunch or tea break. They may carry it for weeks, or even months, without ever opening it though the intention is there.

When you do actually make the space and take the time to read the ideas in any self help book they will, almost certainly, help you. They will make you think about things from another point of view and give you ideas, enable you to see the everyday issues from another angle and, direct you towards resources and services that may even change your life forever. Better still, read them over and over and the ideas within will seep into your mind and have a far better chance of sticking.

A Book is a Seed

Live in the Present - BookThe ideas in a book are like seeds. Ideas will grow in the creative recesses of your mind if you allow them to be planted there. The trick is that if you want the book to help you, you will need to read it, perhaps many times. All self help books should carry a disclaimer that states clearly that the contents of the book will only work if you read it. There should also be the proviso that you may need to read the same book again and again to allow the concepts to sink in. The point in the re-reading is not that the book changes, it will always stay the same. However, as you change and develop your understanding of what you are reading will be changing, so that you will see things in a re-read that you did not see the first time around.

Our self help book ‘Live In The Present‘ carries the following disclaimer…

It should be noted that there is no magic trick that will change your life for the better.

It is only through your CONSISTENT and PERSISTENT REPETITION of the theories taught within this book that you will achieve your aims.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s get on with the job of finding true bliss for every living thing on Earth.

If you have invested your money in some self help books you will benefit even more from also investing some of your time in reading them. You will get even more benefit by investing some time in carrying out the ideas in the books that will change your everyday life.

Live in the present, be happy and read it don’t leave it

With love,
Sean x

Can Happiness Buy Money

Can Happiness Buy Money?

Have you ever thought to yourself “if only I had ….. I would be happy”? The ….. could be anything. Perhaps a person, a car, a job, money, whatever. There is often that inner belief that “if I only just had that ….. I would be really happy”. Yet, all the evidence shows that the opposite is true. Last week we asked whether money could buy happiness. This week let’s see if the reverse is true – can happiness buy money???

Can Happiness Buy Money

Recent work on how our mind and brain work and our understanding of neurology, neuropsychology and quantum physics, all suggest that our experience of life is generated entirely from within. We are the author of our own story, good or bad. People that feel that their lives are happy on the outside are happy on the inside. Just as those that feel that their life is unhappy on the outside are unhappy on the inside. The phrase most commonly used to explain this is…

‘Thoughts become things’

Understanding that what you think about is what you bring about is known more commonly as The Law of Attraction. Books like The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne and The Attractor Factor, by Joe Vitalie explain in easy bite size chunks how the laws of attraction function. Our own work at Live In the Present and our book show ten clear steps to achieving exactly what you desire.

[quote style=”boxed”]We are the author of our own story, good or bad[/quote]

Success requires that you live in the present

At LITP we identify that those that live in the past create depressive syndromes while those that live in the future create anxious syndromes. The people that are really effective in life live in their present and the key to that is happiness. To be free of a depressive past and an anxious future allows us to be happy right now.

What you feel is what you live

The feelings that dominate what you are living are attachment, aversion and, craving. Living in the past is attachment to events and objects that no longer exist that you are, perhaps, in bereavement about or feeling some level of loss. Living in the future creates craving towards, or an aversion against, your imagined future. None of these emotional states allow you to live in the now and it is only in the now that you can be truly happy.

As on the inside, so on the outside

Because what we are experiencing and creating in life is generated from within, to be rich on the outside we have first to be rich on the inside. This is so important to understand. To live a life that is rich and abundant we need first to feel rich and abundant within our mind and emotions. I guess it is obvious that if we feel good and positive so that we are creating a happy life then we will have more motivation, become more inspirational and find it easier to make money than if we are miserable negative and unhappy.

The Unhappy Millionaire

Now, I know that you don’t have to be happy to make money. I have worked with many miserable, unhappy but very rich people. But I do know that happy people find it easier to make money. But the bonus is that happy people are wealthy in things other than money.

The Happy Millionaire

The trick is to be financially rich and emotionally wealthy. Many people that are financially rich are emotionally bankrupt. Those that are wealthy live with a richness of love, life and experience and that is happiness. Of course there are also those that are wealthy but financially poor

Wealthy people are happy people

So the deal is this: you do not need money to be happy and, you do not need happiness to make money but you do need happiness to be wealthy.

What is it that would make you feel wealthy?

Take care,
Sean x

money can make you happy

Money CAN Make You Happy (… or Sad)

Most people say that they want money and that it will make them happy, however they do not really understand what money is. Often people see money as the route to their fulfilment, they are generally wrong. There are millions of examples were money has created great unhappiness. Despite this, when we understand the true nature of money it can make us happier.

money can make you happy

Here’s the interesting thing about money: it does not actually exist. A British bank note includes the words ‘I promise to pay the bearer on demand the sum of £X‘. Now, this is a nonsense. If you took your £20 note to the Bank of England and asked for your twenty pounds they would look at you like you were mad. A bank note is a token of good faith. At best it is a share certificate that entitles you to a share in the reserves of the banking system. In the current bank-led recession it is easy to assume that this share is not worth very much, if anything at all. A bank note is really potential energy.

There is both good energy and bad energy

Money works at a much deeper level than simply bits of paper changing hands. Your twenty pound note is like a seed full of energy, that if planted in a certain way it will grow and bear the fruit of other £20 notes. If planted on barren soil, or frittered away, it becomes nothing.

There is both good money and bad money

There is a relationship between money and emotion but it is the reverse of what we expect it to be. Just as there are positive emotions of happiness and wellbeing there are also negative emotions of sadness and negativity. In the same way there is positive money and negative money. That is money that makes us feel good and money that makes us feel bad.

Money is a magnifying glass

Money tends to make things bigger just like a magnifying glass. When we are feeling happy we will use money to create more happiness. But, if we are unhappy, we will use money to create more unhappiness. This is simply the nature of energy so that…

Your money flows where your consciousness goes

You see money, like all forms of energy, is neutral, it is neither good or bad. All energy does, is enable us to act out what we are feeling.

The person who is happy with money is the person who is also happy without money. The feeling comes before the money.

However it is important to realise that if you want to create money, it is easier to do so if you are feeling positive. It is happiness that makes it easier to create money, not money that creates happiness. But, that is the subject of the next blog…

Be happy, live in the present and allow your positivity to create your financial wealth.

Sean x

How to Control your Anxiety Without Medication

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stressful situations. But in some cases, it becomes excessive and can cause sufferers to dread everyday situations. According to psychology today, the chances are fairly high that either you or a loved one has had a history of anxiety. In any given year about 17% of us will have an anxiety disorder. Can you learn to control your anxiety?

Anxiety isn’t helped by the fact that when we turn on the TV or radio all we hear is bad news. Unfortunately bad news sells, the majority are attracted to it and therefore it acts as a reminder to us that we need to be aware as danger looms. Because we are constantly bombarded with bad news, we think that we are in greater danger than we actually are, and like carriages on a train the next anxious thought follows and the next, resulting in us feeling anxious or developing anxiety disorders.

In eastern psychotherapy the mind is often described as a monkey. This is the part of our mind that, if left unattended, can run off and create havoc for us. It is the part of your mind over which you feel you have little or no control. Actually, you can tame and control your monkey, it is just that you need to get to know it. This is called self discovery.

Monkeys come in many varieties. Some are mischievous, funny or playful, while others can be negative depressive or angry. When people lose self esteem and self-worth it is monkey business. When people become addicted to drugs, moaning or misery the monkey is at work. Whenever the mind plays tricks and does things that we do not want the monkey is out to play games with you. Sanity is when we know our monkey and are able to tame the beast and gently put it back in it’s cage.

The devil finds work for idle hands

The unoccupied mind will allow the monkey to run off and throw bananas at you. They may be bananas of joy and hope or misery and hurt. In human consciousness the most common monkey that most of us need to deal with is the anxious monkey.

Anxiety is simply the fear of the future

The reason we call what we do ‘Live In the Present‘ is because in the now there is nothing but the present. When we bring the unresolved past into the present we call it depression and, when we bring unhappened and feared futures into the present we call it anxiety. Anxiety is the fear of what is yet to come.

The only way to overcome anxiety is to live in the present – LITP

Ed and I meet each week and have our own LITP time. We were talking about people who do actually LITP. A racing driver travelling at 200 mph must live in the present or die. A lack of concentration can easily lead to a miscalculation and death. Equally, a surgeon with scalpel poised over a brain or a heart must LITP to complete a successful operation. In fact anyone who is focussed on who they are and what they are doing is living in their present. As soon as they allow their mind to slip into either the past or the future they are lost.

The Mindful Moment – Control Your Anxiety

My connection in the now, my LITP, comes mainly through meditation. The focus on breath and body through Vipassana is the experience of the present moment. The current heart beat forms the present just as the last one was the past and the next one will be the future. Ed’s route to LITP is through learning. He lives to discover new things, uncover new experiences and learn about places he has not yet visited.

Anyone who can get into the zone of concentration is living in their present.

How do you live in your present?

Sad to say but, few people really do live in the present. Most people are in the depression of the past or the anxiety of the future. The only way to tame anxiety is to discover your way of living in your present. All medication does is dull the sensation of anxiety. we get the same effect from drugs or alcohol. When the medication, drugs or alcohol have worn off, guess what? Back comes the anxiety just as before.

The bottom line is this: if you want to tame your anxiety engage your consciousness into something that excites you, something that makes you feel good. It might be a sport, a job, a skill, a hobby, a craft, whatever it is you will be focussed in the now and you will no longer need to worry about what will be. You will have tamed your anxiety and be living in the present.

How will you live in your present?

Take care,