TSHP212: How to recover from a traumatic event

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What’s Coming This Episode?

There are certain things happen in our lives that leave an indelible impression. These events may last a moment but they can linger long in our memories and, if not properly dealt with, can lead to a downward spiral. So how do we recover from a traumatic event?

Enjoy the show and take care, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

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How to recover from traumatic events

This weeks podcast was requested by Ed because he was feeling disturbed by an event that he had witnessed on his way to work that resulted in a man’s death. He was left with some feelings of trauma, some flashbacks and problems with concentration. His question was what is trauma and what is it that we can do about it?

Trauma is a Greek word meaning “wound”. Originally this was related physical injury. With the development of psychology a wound can now be considered to be physical, mental, emotional, financial and so on. The concept of trauma comes from the idea that the wound, or event that is being experienced, is greater than our resources to deal with it. In that sense we have been overwhelmed. However there is a difference between experiencing trauma and being traumatised.

Traumatised, or traumatisation is when the overwhelming experience/trauma creates an amount of stress that is so great that it exceeds our ability to deal with the emotions aroused. This is clearly an emotional issue. Trauma or traumatic disorders are always emotional even if they come from physical damage.

Post trauma is the emotional fall out that stays with us after the experience has ended. It is our time to process the emotions and this may take hours, days or weeks. In most cases the emotional effects of a trauma will be normalised within four weeks and sometimes extends to eight or ten weeks. The important thing is that it does subside as the emotional arousal is desensitised.

Repressed trauma can happen when an event is too difficult for us to deal with in the present and we hide it in the recesses of the mind. When this happens we may have no direct memory of the event that caused the trauma though it may still effect who we are, how we experience the world and, our behaviour. It is assumed that repression developed to protect us from that which was too difficult to contemplate. In repression the victim will often sleep after the incident. In the post incident sleeping process the R.E.M. (rapid eye movement) part of the sleep cycle, similar to dreaming, allows the memory to be hidden or repressed.

Recovered memory may be delayed by weeks, years, or even decades. Though when it does emerge the original repressed emotions are released as though they have just happened. Therapeutically this release of emotion and memory is termed an abreaction and involves the re-experiencing of the trauma physically, emotionally and mentally. This may occur many years after the original incident.

Emotional responses Although in repression the memory is lost to the conscious mind it has a constant effect on everyday life and experience and may appear as irrational fears, anxiety, depression, phobia etc. This is described and ‘something within us but outside of our control’.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is when the emotional responses are not repressed but are also not processed. When the effects of the incident remain active after six weeks it is given the PTSD diagnosis. As acknowledged above trauma may take eight to ten weeks to process. This means that definitions and diagnosis of PTSD can be difficult in the first instance. When we are looking at symptoms continuing after months or years we are definitely talking about PTSD.

PTSD Symptoms will vary but will include finding it difficult to forget the incident or event that happened. There may be flashbacks, daymares or nightmares about the incident. Unstable and irrational emotional responses such as anger, tears, anxiety, depression, phobias, disturbed sleep/eating patterns, and so on.

Rumination is the symptom builder. We know that, what we think about we bring about and that thoughts become things. When we continually go over the traumatic incident we are unable to let them go. The more we ruminate on them the more they become intensely embedded in our unconscious and conscious mind because we keep thinking about, and reinforcing them in our mind/brain.

The MindBrain This is where the software of the psychological mind and the hardware of the brain interface. The main aspect of the brain that effects our emotional self is the limbic system in the centre of the brain. Within the limbic system is a little organ called the amygdala. In this organ are templates of cells that relate to our emotional responses.

Lets say that when I am young I watch my mother reacting phobic-ally to spiders, I then build a template of cells in my amygdala so that when I see a spider the template cells release chemistry and so I also react to the spiders as a phobia. Over time my spider template will become hotter and more embedded the more I visit it.

All emotional responses are like this, even the positive ones. So, that if I see the object of my love the love template of cells become hot and releases the chemistry that make me feel loving.

It normally takes about five repetitions of emotional experience to set up a template in the amygdala unless it is punched traumatically and then it is created immediately. Once a traumatic template has been established it will remain hot and active and become more embedded over time unless, or until, it is treated.

Treatment for trauma is a variable feast and will depend on where you live and the therapy that is fashionable at the time. Cognitive therapies such as CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) are not that good at dealing with trauma in the long term. They do have a short term effectiveness by putting in place cognitive tools that often repress the emotion that creates a feeling of relief and the expectation of cure. However, when this happens the emotions are not processed but held in check leaving them to reappear at a later date.

EMDR or Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing is a therapy that mimics the rapid eye movements that happen during the dream cycle in the sleep pattern. As the emotional trauma is encoded into the MindBrain using the same part of the system EMDR is surprisingly effective in the majority of cases.

Rewinding is by far my best option. This technique uses the very same process to desensitise a template in the amygdala, that was used to put it there in the first place. When we revisit a trauma it is through the senses of sight, smell, tastes and touch, none of which are cognitive. During rewind therapy the emotional memories are address directly and desensitised.

Mindful meditation is becoming main stream psychology. Mindfulness is the best prevention for all forms of stress and provides the resources needed at the point of trauma. The process of mindfulness is awareness, contemplation, concentration and meditation a process that is in itself therapeutic. Consistent meditators become their own therapists and counsellors and are able to overcome many things that overwhelm others.

Medication has to be the last on my list. I am not against medication on this basis, if I have a headache I will do all that I can to get rid of it, and as a last resort I will take an aspirin. There are medications that can help with anxiety, depression, panic, high blood pressure and so on. There are also natural alternatives that may be gentler on the system both psychologically and physiologically. If you do suffer trauma never suffer alone psychotherapy is a good and powerful thing.

Take care and be happy
Sean x

TSHP211: Are we ever right to contemplate revenge?

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Revenge is a dish best served cold, so the saying goes. Revenge can be done instinctively in a flash or planned in detail for months or even years. We know we shouldn’t though, so how can we learn to resist the temptation?

Enjoy the show and take care, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

Resource of the Week

  • Sean and Ed recommended a couple of films – Kill Bill and The Godfather

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TSHP210: The Power of Doing Nothing

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Stay busy! Work hard! Get ahead! Woooaaaah, hang on a minute. Why so serious? Maybe there’s some value in learning the art of doing nothing every once in a while hey?

Enjoy the show and take care, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

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The Sweetness of Doing Nothing

This week we had an email from a listener interested in the magic of doing nothing.

My life is busy. I choose it to be this way so this is not a complaint. However, I do like there to be times when I can simply just stop and do nothing. I like to have time when there is nothing to do. A time when it is enough just to be and not to do. My way of life at the moment means that the only time that I get to do nothing is when we go away on holiday. It is also true when I am away working in Qatar. In Qatar, once I have finished my day, I am in the apartment and I have nothing to do other than to simply be. When I travel there is the added bonus of a seven-hour flight, when all I have to do is to sit in a comfortable seat watching movies of my choice or simply relax and contemplate while people bring me food and drink.

When I am at home or at work there are people that need things and there are also always things that need to be done. It is an endless list. It would seem that I, in a general sense, and like virtually everyone else that I know, have lost contact with the sweet art of doing nothing.

‘Dolce far Niente’

This Italian phrase means “the sweetness of doing nothing”.

The Protestant work ethic has driven British society for hundreds of years, even though we are mainly no longer a religious society. We are taught to feel guilt when we choose to take it easy.

Are you a human being or…

In your world is there ever any time to do nothing. I do not mean actively doing nothing like, going for a walk, or meditating, these are both productive things. I mean really doing nothing. Sitting in a chair on the terrace, lying by a pool drinking a glass of wine, no productivity, no outcome. It might be sitting with your back against a tree, staring at the sky or staring at the sea. When did you last stop without the feeling that you had to do anything? No house work, no DIY. A place and time when no one needs anything and nobody wants anything, a time when you do not need you to do or be anything other than to simply be.

…a human doing?

Sometimes the need to continually be active is based in fear. In the stillness of nothing we can hear, think and feel things that we might be seeking to avoid. Many of us fear doing nothing. Doing nothing can make us vulnerable to silence and in silence we might have to face what we do not want to. For many, simply being can create fear and anxiety. Doing something is a way of blanking out both our thoughts and our feelings. If we were to listen it might mean that we would need to attend, to change or do something and that might just be too difficult or scary. As a great sage once said…

…in the silence I heard the answer to my problem

We can go to great lengths to avoid listening to both problems and answers.

Come on hear the noise!
Noise is a powerful anaesthetic. When you wake do you need to fill your space with sound? It might be the radio, music or the TV?

How often do we see people walking down the road with ear buds inserted avoiding all sights and sounds around them? They are also avoiding the internal thoughts and feelings that would naturally accompany their walking. When we are in the car why do we need music. When people are running why do they need a soundtrack to run to? Why are we avoiding silence?

Gotta get up, gotta get on!
What happened to taking it easy, resting, shooting the breeze, having a chat, or simply doing nothing?

When was the last time that you enjoyed dolce far niente, the sweetness of doing nothing?

Today could be the day that you discover or rediscover the art of simply being.

Take care

Sean x

TSHP209: Dealing with terror mindfully

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Recent ‘terror’ attacks in the UK (and ongoing ones around the world) have brought fear and nervousness to the masses once again. A listener who lives in London messaged us asking if we could discuss how to remain calm and unafraid at times like this. A great idea, we though…

Enjoy the show and take care, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

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Resource of the Week

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Terror vs Mindfulness

This week Ed and I were looking at the issues that are affecting us all at this time, those of the terrorist incidents in Manchester and London. We thought that it is time to revisit the Law of Allowing. This is week six of the Live In The Present course. In this Law we begin to understand that if we focus on the negative we only make things worse. However if we can allow the mad people to be mad without joining them we can, in time make things better. For most of us allowing is the choice between love and hate. In the end love wins through.

Step six: The Law of Allowing

In this step on the course Ed and I have been talking about the law of Allowing. This is one of the hardest steps in the Live in the Present course.

The only thing you should be intolerant of is intolerance
Plato

If you feel angry or disgruntled when someone with beliefs opposed to yours gets their way, if you become upset because you can’t have your way, then you are not living within the law of allowing.
When we can allow the mad people to be mad, the drug takers to be drug takers and so on we stand a better chance of changing their behaviour. When we oppose peoples behaviour we will normally make it worse and get more of what we don’t want.

According to Emile Coue when you feel or express anger at the behaviour of others you will create more of what you would seek to eliminate.

Emile Coue’s law of reversed effort –
The more we try to consciously struggle with a dominant idea the more powerful its effects become.

“When an idea imposes itself on the mind to such an extent as to give rise to a suggestion, all the conscious efforts which the subject makes in order to counteract this suggestion are not merely without the desired effect, but they actually run counter to the subject’s conscious wishes and tend to intensify the suggestion.”

(Baudouin, 1920: 116).

He elaborates by describing the law of reversed effect as exemplified by the self-antagonistic attitude of mind that says, “I would like to… but I cannot.” This notion might be seen as similar to the modern technique of “reverse psychology”, a persuasion technique which aims, paradoxically, to persuade someone to accept an idea by suggesting the opposite to them

Is it ok to be completely tolerant of any behaviours?

Karl Popper
The so-called paradox of freedom is the argument that freedom in the sense of absence of any constraining control must lead to very great restraint, since it makes the bully free to enslave the meek. The idea is, in a slightly different form, and with very different tendency, clearly expressed in Plato.

Less well known is the paradox of tolerance:
Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed,and tolerance with them. — In this formulation, I do not imply, for instance, that we should always suppress the utterance of intolerant philosophies; as long as we can counter them by rational argument and keep them in check by public opinion, suppression would certainly be unwise. But we should claim the right to suppress them if necessary even by force; for it may easily turn out that they are not prepared to meet us on the level of rational argument, but begin by denouncing all argument; they may forbid their followers to listen to rational argument, because it is deceptive, and teach them to answer arguments by the use of their fists or pistols. We should therefore claim, in the name of tolerance, the right not to tolerate the intolerant. We should claim that any movement preaching intolerance places itself outside the law, and we should consider incitement to intolerance and persecution as criminal, in the same way as we should consider incitement to murder, or to kidnapping, or to the revival of the slave trade, as criminal.

Karl Popper, The Open Society and Its Enemies

Of all the universal laws, the law of allowing is often the most difficult one to get our heads around. The truth is, there is freedom in allowing circumstances to be what they are and people to be who they are, whether you agree with them or not. Really. Even when it comes to poverty or war or disease.

Mother Theresa famously said that she would not attend an anti war rally, but she would attend a pro peace rally. She understood the law of allowing and the law of reversed effort. She realised that the effect of an anti war rally would simply focus attention on ‘War’. A pro peace rally will focus attention on ‘Peace’.

This is also an internal process. When we have an internal dialogue that is self punishing when we get something wrong all we do is create more of what we don’t want.

Example – If I am using hypnosis to stop someone smoking and use the phrase “you must stop this filthy, disgusting habit right now!” the person will smoke even more. However, if I use the phrase “you will get a lot of pride and pleasure from no longer needing to smoke”, the person will stop.

To change yourself and change others you need to evoke the law of allowing.

Take care of yourself and treat yourself with love

Sean x

TSHP208: Mastering your anxiety

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Anxiety crops up in almost every show we record in one form or another, but every now and then we like to focus on it with laser precision. Anxiety can be hugely debilitating so learning to live with and master it is an important skill. Over to Sean and Ed…

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

Resource of the Week

Stay in Touch

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Anxiety

We have been here before and I expect that we will come back here again. Anxiety is the number one issue of emotional disturbance in western society. Last time I looked at the research over 60% of patients visiting their general practitioner were said to be suffering from anxiety but were presenting with other symptoms. The level of anxiety and depression medication prescribed by doctors has never been higher.

This can be a problem for people who do not have anxiety but do have a real illness as doctors learn to focus on anxiety. Patients without anxiety can easily be treated by the doctor as though they do have anxiety and their real illness can then be missed, hopefully to be diagnosed accurately later.

These issues of western anxiety are all very strange because the pre industrial societies of China, Asia and Africa, those that remain agricultural and do not become urbanised, have very low levels of mental and emotional disturbance and both depression and anxiety are hardly heard of. I am not saying that these societies are perfect, they are not, but it is easy to see that westernisation and industrialisation bring a shed load of problems from stress and anxiety through to obesity and diabetes etc, and a steady rise in the rates of various cancers.

I know from my own consulting room that anxiety is nearly always present. It may not be the main reason that the person has sought help though it nearly always play a part in the development or the maintenance of their problems. Solving their anxiety issues and symptoms is invariably a large part of the healing process.

Clinical Anxiety
Some anxiety will be clinical. That means the chemistry in the brain is out of balance. It could be that there is an over production of adrenaline and cortisol or of stress hormones generally, that leaves the muscles and sinews twitchy, tense and shaking followed by a heaviness of the legs and arms. When the muscles are tense they produce lactic acid and because of the tension in the muscles the acid does not drain. People with anxiety often feel like they have run a marathon, feel fatigued and tired all the time. This is because the tense activity in the muscles burns calories like crazy and depletes their energy. People with anxiety often report sore aching muscles and joints, particularly around the shoulders and neck and around the small of their back. This extra activity in the muscles and the calories that it takes also explains why people with anxiety are often slim. I am not suggesting that anxiety is a good way to lose weight!

Reactive Anxiety
Following an incident, perhaps an accident or a trauma, loss or bereavement, the fight and flight mechanism will have activated. This gives us heightened awareness and alertness to keep us safe. In reality once this mechanism turns on we either fight back at the threat, run away or flee, or sometimes we can simply freeze like a rabbit stuck in the headlights. Most anxiety introduced traumas are resolved by the mind/brain within about four weeks. When effects and symptoms of the trauma continue beyond this, that is heightened emotion and alertness, disturbed sleep and eating cycle and some flashbacks to the original event, we call this post traumatic stress disorder, PTSD the treatment then steps up a gear using either psychotherapy, medication or both.

Generalised Anxiety Disorder GAD
GAD is when the entire world and all experience can become anxiety provoking. The original cause of the anxiety may never be clear or understood. Those suffering all forms of anxiety may become reclusive and develop agoraphobia, claustrophobia and so on. The definitions of anxiety disorders have become quite precise so that we now talk about social anxiety, performance anxiety, and so on. Following on from that are the endless list of anxiety induced phobias from the more obvious such as flying to some more unusual things like the fear of oranges.

Amygdala Responses
The Amygdala in the limbic system of the brain holds groups or templates of cells that are the basis of our instinctual and emotional responses. Most templates are learned trough observation, so that classically if I watch my mother being phobic about spiders I develop a template of cells in my amygdala that realises stress hormone as soon as I see spiders and have a spider phobia or spider induced anxiety.

Anxiety Treatment
All treatments for anxiety are aimed at desensitising the templates in the amygdala. For most people this will mean medication. Many of the medications that we describe as anti-depressants also have an anxiety relieving component. Many people will be referred for CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy, which can be very effective depending on the practitioner and their own understanding of anxiety. The treatment of the moment for anxiety currently is Mindfulness.

Learning to live in the moment
Mindful psychology encourages people to learn the skill of living in the present. Mindfulness defines most depression as rumination of past unresolved events and most anxiety as rumination of future events that may never happen. In the present moment there are rarely any problems it is the ruminating ability of our imagination that brings problems into the present.

Learning the skills of mindfulness cannot only reduce anxiety, almost immediately, but it can eliminate anxiety altogether. Many of the attendees at my mindfulness courses say something like, ‘why didn’t anyone teach us this when we were kids at school’. Well, it is an evident truth that those schools that do teach their students mindfulness have less disruption, calmer learning environments, and I suspect, though the research is not yet complete, will be shown to have higher attainment levels.

The good news is, it is never too late. Whatever your issues/problems/challenges you can change your life realistically and meaningfully in as little as ninety days through persistent and consistent mindful practice. However, it does take dedication if you really do want to reprogram the way that you think, feel and act.

The option is either to be mindful or anxious – we do have a choice.

Take care and choose to be happy

Sean x