TSHP238: How to make the most of your year ahead

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What’s Coming This Episode?

It’s time to look forward folks! A new year is almost with us which can mean only one thing – new year’s resolutions! Right? Well, maybe not. Perhaps resolutions aren’t the best way to approach. What if there was another way? Have a great 2018 everyone!

Enjoy the show and take care, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

Resource of the Week

  • Sean kept it simple – write your speech 1 year on from now as you’d like to hear it
  • Ed watched Mindhunter on Netflix and LOVED it. Warning – not for the feint hearted!

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Happy New Year

Just as Christmas gives us the opportunity to look at what was in the past throughout the previous year, to assess it, to keep the experiences that we do want and to discard those experiences that we do not want, New Year allows us to look forward and create the year that we do want. Christmas is the time of ending as the darkness ends and the light begins. New Year is a time of beginnings. That does carry the proviso that there is a difficulty of moving into a new future, into a New Year if we are stuck back in the past. You might need to refer to the previous blog ‘don’t look back in anger’ which is all about letting go of the past.

Thoughts become things
What we think about we bring about. That is as true of everyday as it is of every year. The reality is that you will be writing your script for the year ahead right now. Your success or failure in your endeavours starts with you right now, deciding what will be happening.

An Idea
If you were to project forward to New Years Eve 2018. It is a party held in your honour. Someone has called the gathered throng to silence as they begin to read a speech. The contents of the speech is all about your achievements and successes throughout 2018. How does it sound. Is the substance “well not a lot was achieved due to a lack of energy and will power?” Or would it be “well you wouldn’t believe what has been achieved over the last twelve months?” In reality, what will be in that speech is the mindful choices you are making right now.

This is your choice. Same old same old. Next year you feel all the sense of a year wasted. Or the decision to make this year special, to allow yourself to do, achieve and be as successful as you need to be to make yourself happy. If by the end of next year you are smiling you will have cracked it.

If you haven’t completed the task set out in the ten steps of the Live In The Present book then you might need to go and get a copy and get to it. Understanding the natural laws of human consciousness, letting go, allowing, gratitude, abundance and so on, are the seeds of success. You can, with persistence and consistence, create your life and the best version of you that you desire. You just need to be prepared to do a little work.

This blog is short and simple because the message is short and simple.

The things that you think about you will bring about
You are the author of all that you experience
You are the author of your life
What you feed will grow and what you starve will die
You will never be effected by events but by how you respond to those events
You have choice all day and every day
The choice for happiness is called mindfulness
The choice for unhappiness is called mindlessness

Most importantly you are not alone. There are always people around who will help you overcome your obstacles and create your fulfilment.

There is so much that you can do
Attend a mindfulness course, get a mindful coach, go into therapy, learn to meditate, read everything that you can, listen to positive mindful teachers, Ted talks and audio books.

Gove yourself the value and the time that you deserve to become who you truly are.

Happy New Year

Sean x

TSHP237: Looking back and letting go

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What’s Coming This Episode?

It’s the time of year when we can look back and see what we’ve achieved and where we’ve struggled. Live can be tough at times but there are lessons in everything and in everyone. Merry Christmas to all of our listeners 🙂

Enjoy the show and take care, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

Resource of the Week

Stay in Touch

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Don’t Look Back in Anger

Christmas is here again. It seems to come around so fast. Somewhere in the human psyche we seem to use Christmas as a marker of the ending of the year. I suspect that this goes right back to the pagan rituals and the solstice that acknowledged the end of darkness, because we are at the point when we change the longest night and the shortest day, to the lengthening of days. Christmas, as the end of darkness and the beginning of light, is also used biblically as marking an ending and acknowledging a new beginning.

So, for many Christmas is that time when we look back at what was. To what has happened in this year and how it has effected us. Whenever we look back over the past there will be things that jump out at us. Depending how it has been for us, or how we see life, we will either see good things or bad things. Whatever we look at as our experience of the year we tend to see it as ‘that is the way that it is or was’.

In mindfulness we begin to realise that it may not be true. We realise that it is not what happens to us but how we deal with it that will make our memory of it good or bad. Simply it is the way that we see it. As Epicticus put it…

…we are not effected by events, we are effected by our response to those events…

What was your experience of 2017?

For me, during this year of 2017, the world seems to have been a troubled place. I guess that we could say that the world is always a troubled place but some how it seems too have been a bit worse this year. For me the reality of Brexit is coming to pass and I don’t like that. Then we had Trump spreading his wings and spreading his own brand of destabilisation across the globe and I don’t like that. Then we have North Korea…. I could go on. It seems like there might be quite a lot to let go of this year.

Then there have been losses. Friends and family dying leaving an empty chair at the Christmas dinner table. There is also the annual role call of all the celebrities that have passed on this year.

Manchester Arena
The really big negative one for many of us in Britain this year was the Manchester bombing at the concert. I had two families that were caught up in it to deal with. Luckily none of them were physically hurt though, they had seen people who were killed and they were showing high levels of post traumatic stress disorder. That scar will remain with many people for such a long time. Yet, amongst all the potential for hatred and retribution came the love and forgiveness of a collective concert of those refusing to be cowed by terrorism. The deeply emotional experience as Oasis sing…

…don’t look back in anger…

there are no words more appropriate to this event and to us all as we look back on our years. We have a mindful choice, do we feed the negative events of the years with our anger and allow them to grow in our mind and our emotions. The other option is to feed the positive events of the years with our love and allow them to grow in our mind and our emotions.

That concert also made me stop to consider all those people around the world that have been or are living in war zones. They have been experiencing such bombing on a daily basis. Sometimes, we only truly appreciate the plight of others when we experience the same thing ourselves.

Forgiveness and letting go
At this time of year we have a golden opportunity. We can let go of whatever is holding us back, those things that keep us stuck in the past. These negative emotional attachments to unresolved events limit our ability to move forward, they stunt our creativity and weigh us down. To let go, to forgo, to forgive allows us to move forward unencumbered into the New Year.

Just as in the Step One, from the Live In The Present course and book, we need to let go of all our negative attachments right back to the moment of our birth. Holding onto negative past is a choice, though we may not realise it. In mindfulness we can choose to be different, to let go and enjoy this wonderful thing called life. If you haven’t already then visit step one and complete the exercise focussing on this year. That mindful journey begins right here. Let go of your negative years and embrace your positive year.

Whatever you faith, religion, ethnicity, nationality, orientation, or belief enjoy this moment as we move from darkness into light and consciously leave the darkness behind you.

Take care and have a fabulous Christmas, solstice or whatever you call it.

Sean X

TSHP236: Anxious about climate change?

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Human-driven climate change has been proved beyond all reasonable doubt. Many folks, whilst aware of this, are able to continue their lives without the weight of the world on their shoulders. For those of us that spend out days worrying about what we should do, anxiety can creep up on us. So how do we deal with that and how to we refrain from reflecting it on others whilst getting them engaged?

Enjoy the show and take care, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

Resource of the Week

Stay in Touch

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Some Like it Hot

When George Harrison sang “here comes the sun” it was all about the end of winter and the joy that comes as things becomes both brighter and warmer in the spring and summer. But, can we have too much of a good thing?

With a global climate that is getting increasingly hotter we might indeed end with too much of a good thing. The question of the day, indeed a question of vital importance to us all, is “is global warming real”? What do you think?

As far back as 1824 scientist were registering their concern about the effects of fossil fuels and the effects that carbon dioxide was having and would have on planet Earth. Scientific research increased during the1970s and 80s. Most scientists are now predicting that our use of fossil fuels will lead to a warming of the surface of the planet and create global warming that could, in the end, become devastating for the planet and for all of human kind and every other living being on the planet. Well, most people seem to agree except for apparent “experts” such as Donal Trump, that well known scientists and climate expert, shouting them down calling them ‘gloom mongers’.

The one thing that was promised to Britain with global warming and a warmer earth, was cool dry summers and warm wet winters. My experience is that is what we now have. The scorching summers of the 60s and 70s have disappeared as did the British holiday makers as they chased the sun on various package deals to Spain. The cold winters with real Christmas Day snow, often several feet thick, has become an occasional sprinkling of white.

The fact that it is getting warmer would seem to to be beyond dispute. The question is why? Donald Trump is re-energising the US coal industry suggesting that global warming is nothing to do with human intervention and simply one of the many cycles on Earth’s planetary activity.

As I understand it we are carbon based organisms living in a carbon based world. Where we are all subject to the carbon cycle. Carbon is used to construct living matter and then broken down and released back into the atmosphere to be recycled into new growth.

Everything is on fire

When the pages of an old book are turning yellow they are, actually burning but very slowly. The pages are slowly turning back into carbon, this is the carbon cycle. The carbon was captured in the trees that created the wood pulp that made the paper. Fire is a catalyst that increases the rate of the carbon cycle that is going on any way. Fire releases carbon and energy, in the form of heat, into the atmosphere.

The carbon based system that we live in stores carbon into the growth of vegetation or carbon is held in the natural storage of the seas. This has been, throughout creation, a natural process of living and dying. Example plants and trees, that need CO2 to grow, soak it up and turn it into vegetation that is either eaten by animals and turned back CO2 when the animals die, or as leaves fall to the ground carbon is released as the leaves rot down to provide nutrients for further vegetation growth.

Coal is the fossilised deposit of the forests of the past. As they died and were buried they were compressed into what we now call coal. The coal, just like the forest is full of carbon. This is what is released into the atmosphere when we burn it.

The natural process of growth and decay, birth and death, of carbon storage and release, has been in balance on the planet throughout time. Then the humans arrived and it all changed.

If the carbon released into the atmosphere is greater than the planets ability to store it the system goes out of balance. The atmosphere of the earth, apart from providing the oxygen that we all breath filters out the effects of the sun. The CO2 creates a blanket in the atmosphere that increases the heat at ground level.

We are having three main effects, I can see, that are contributing to global warming. The first is this issues of putting more and more CO2 into the atmosphere. The second is deforestation that has removed the planets ability to store carbon in vegetation. It is said that the forests are the lungs of the world. Right now the world if suffocating. The third effect is methane.

Methane
Described as the ‘Greenhouse gas’ is said to be more dangerous than CO2, though once in the atmosphere methane does react with oxygen to create even more CO2. The majority of methane in the atmosphere is said to come from ruminants. That is, animals that ferment vegetation as food in their gut and then both fart and burp methane. It is estimated that the 1.5 billion cows and bulls currently on farms account for 18% of all harmful greenhouse gases. That is more than the entire negative CO2 effect of the entire US economy.

So, number one we have deforested the planet. That would has been burned. And two, the land that has been cleared of tress is now used to raise cattle for human food consumption. Both actions become a recipe for a warmer planet. I have not even included the effects of burning oils and gas and the love affair that we have with the motor car. As I write this I am on the plane about top head off to Qatar. The plane is half full and I do not have a clue how much fuel it will take to get us all there, I do not know what my own carbon footprint is in the journey.

There are things that we can all do to reduce our individual effect on the carbon cycle and collectively reduce global warming. Now, many people will say ‘what is the point of me doing anything, I am only one person, I can’t have much of an effect?’ And yet a lot of people doing the same thing can have a big effect.

The two biggest things that we can do immediately that will have a huge effect on global warming. The first is use less fuel. Walk rather than taking the car and cycle to work and the shops if you can. If you are going to drive try and go electric as a bike or a car. The second is stop eating meat, especially beef, and stop consuming all dairy products. Becoming veggie or, if you can, vegan has an enormous effect of your carbon footprint. The last things is recycle all that you can and where possible by things that are not packaging that requires recycling in the first place. Only time will tell what effect we are really having on the climate. The trouble is that by the time that we realise it, it might just be too late.

I am veggie considering becoming vegan and currently looking at electric bikes. I am thinking that if I cycle, with a bit of electric support, I could reduce my carbon footprint without being sweaty at my destination and at the same time get fit. Sounds like a win, win.

Take care and check your footprint

Sean x

TSHP235: How to combat your insecurity

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Confidence is a tough one to pin down. Where does it come from? Are we born ready or do we learn it as we grow older? Can it be taught later in life? Let’s hope so…

Enjoy the show and take care, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

Resource of the Week

Stay in Touch

We’re all over the web, so feel free to stay in touch:

Leave us an Honest Review on iTunes

We’d be amazingly grateful if you could leave us a review on iTunes. It will really help us to build our audience. So, if your like what you hear (and would like to hear more great free content) then visit our iTunes page and leave us an honest review (all feedback gratefully received!).

How to combat your insecurity

This is a re-run of a cast we have done before requested by a listener. Where does your confidence come from? Or where does you lack of confidence come from? For me, I think it is all down to the parents and that early time in life when we establish the foundation of who we are. Unless something happens to make us review and re-program then we just carry on the same story line for the rest of our life.

Imagine there is a party or a gathering of some sort. One person is sat in a corner quietly talking with everyone, greeting people and asking them how they are. Into the scene steps a second person. They come through the door dressed flamboyantly, their greeting loud and they automatically demand and get everyone’s attention. Which of these two people is the most confident?

Now. In most cases we might assume that the confident person is loud and flamboyant and yet in most cases the one who needs and/or demands attention is usually the one with the least confidence. They are looking to other people to validate them and tell them that they are ok. The person who sits quietly connecting with people in a none demanding way is the one with the confidence. They do not need other people to reinforce their value or worth because they know themselves quite well.

Often the world is the opposite way to what it seems. People that make the most noise and seek recognition are usually those with the least confidence, while those that do not need the validation of others are usually the most confident. Actors, musicians, and politicians all stand in front of thousand of people wanting/needing their approval.

A good example is Donald Trump who lacks the confidence to accept negative feedback or criticism though he can appear to demonstrate confidence with the tweets that he pours out. Yet, his behaviour is that of someone who has little confidence and little self esteem. He can bully and shout and get angry, none of which are qualities of confidence, they are all qualities of emotional and personal weakness.

When this weak position of Trump is set against an equally unconfident leader in North Korea who seems to believe that the game of ‘my rocket is bigger than yours’ is a serious form of communication, we are right back in the school yard with a couple of unconfident kids trying to get attention. Scary stuff.

In my own world of psychology and self development, through mindfulness, meditation, yoga, Tai Chi and so on, I have seen many, many teachers lose their self confidence to simply be a teacher and become a guru. Again, those that take on the mantle of Guru are those with the least confidence. The confident teachers, and thankfully there are many thousands of them, do not need fame or fortune to support, help and enable others. They simply just do it.

Where are you? Are you happy and confident with who you are or do you need other people to reassure and tell you that you are okay? Do you seek the approval of others or do you have the confidence that goes with self esteem and self worth?

Plato said ‘Know they self’ and these words appeared above the temple to the God Apollo in Delphi. Aristotle said that to know yourself was the first stage of wisdom. Mindfulness is the best way that I know that you can follow to get to know yourself. Strangely in the process of getting to know yourself you also get to know others.

Be mindful, be happy and have the confidence to go to the bathroom mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say ‘who loves you baby’. To do that just for you, with no audience is a huge confidence boost.

Take care

Sean x