Archive for year: 2018

We all seek to persuade others into doing what it is that we need them to do. It might simply be the way we say ‘hello’ to start the day or the meeting to go the way that we want it to. Or it could be that we want them to make a cup of tea, give us a lift or lend us a few bob. The fact that we are using the word persuasion would suggest that the person either did not know that they wanted to do this for us or actively did not want to do it. I remember a couple from my youth where she would say to him “if you go to the shop and get me a box of Black Magic I’ll let you kiss me”. They went on to have twins; I’m not sure what he had to do to get that far! Any way, most persuasion requires a reward to make the task worth doing.

We could use other words instead of persuasion such as teaching, training, encouragement, seduction, inducement, punishment, cajolery, extortion, manipulation, coercion, bullying, brainwashing, exhortation, fear… I am sure there are more. Perhaps we then need also to consider the common vehicles that are used for persuasion such as media, news, propaganda, prejudice, gossip, faith, belief and our good friend advertising.

Security and behaviour
We probably don’t realise it but our behaviour is based around our need for security, for our need to feel safe or normal. This may also be seen as the need to achieve a positive goal. Perhaps a strange concept to grasp when we look at what others are doing. Some people need to live on the edge in positions that others might see as dangerous. It might seem strange some people get their feeling of safety and security by putting themselves in danger. Hanging off a mountain by your finger tips will scare some but excite others. People who enjoy living with danger are actually living with what makes them feel normal. Adrenalin junkies may not feel secure unless life is a challenge or dangerous. For others life may feel easier when they adhere to a safe normality and conformity. In these cases their sense of security and knowing that they are safe is their reward.

However some behaviour will be driven by fear. In this case avoiding the feared outcome is the positive outcome. The drive to save money maybe driven by the fear of poverty. The drive to take supplements, eat properly, or go to the gym may be driven by the fear of illness or death and so on.

The nature of reward
All behaviour is reward driven. We all get something from what we do or we would not do it. In all behaviour there is an end point, a goal or a reward. Even the most philanthropic and seemingly selfless of people get the reward pleasure from their actions, from helping others or making something right. No behaviour positive or negative is without a reward. The reward may be tangible as in a cocaine or nicotine hit, or an endorphin rush after exercise, or a cream cake. However, most rewards are emotional. The main result and driver of our behaviour is that the result of it is to make us feel right, safe and secure.

Do not become confused by ideas of positive and negative rewards. The things that are our securities are our habits that we have learned. The habit making aspect of our system is neutral, it does not care if the things that we use to create our sense of security are positive or negative. They are simply the habits that we have learned. The self-harmer does it because it makes sense to them and makes them feel right and ok.

The masters of persuasion
When it comes to persuasion nothing makes us more vulnerable than advertising. A good salesperson will be able to evaluate their sales target and present their message in such a way that it makes sense to the target. The sale pitch for each person needs to be different, one size does not fit all. In sales you have to understand your market.

What do you fall for?
What do you like to buy? How do you like to spend your money? Or how do you like to donate or share your time? Advertising is a good place to begin because it shows how different products are advertised differently to different personality types. Each advert is designed to persuade the person to buy the product. Looking at the different personality types we can identity the dominant drives that create their security characteristics. These types, often known as chakra types, are physical/sexual, social/belonging, experiential/novel, power/importance, status/authority, sensitive/empathic and creative/inspirational. Let’s look at them one at a time.

Physical/Sexual
This type of personality is most easily persuaded by physical messages. In advertising a product must be shown to be body enhancing. Something that will make your body look better, or make you think that your body looks better. Body building products. Clothes that accentuate your physical characteristics. Smells that make you appear sexier. Sexual preparations/Supplements that increase your stamina. Often advertisers will use well known sports people or stars that have a physical attraction to sell these products.

Social/Belonging
Persuasion in this case usually come from the message of belonging, ‘are you one of us’, ‘do you belong’, ‘are you in with the in crowd’? ‘Are you seen as special to the group?’ The sale message is ‘If you have our product and use our services you will be special and you will be seen as special by the group’. Here enters the diet fad, the gym, the Zumba class, the designer label, the fashion accessory, handbags, shoes, the brand image, breast implants, face lifts, botox and fillers. All the time comparing what I have to what you have. Can I keep with the leaders of the group, the fashion and style gurus. This used to be called keeping up with Joneses.

FaceBook and Instagram are awash with people who want you to look into their lives and admire all the wonderful products that they use and services that they admire. In the modern age the group has grown from the villagers around the village well to multi million participants online. Now, people make a handsome living by simply sharing their lives online. However the message remains the same, ‘are you one of us’, ‘do you belong to our group’, ‘are you good enough?’

When people are outside of the group but desire to be in, perhaps they do not have the money or resources to buy all the wonderful products, we now have the development of ‘us’ and ‘them’, ‘inside’ and ‘outside’. Along with this comes all the negative emotions of envy, greed and prejudice. All of which are wonderful emotional drivers for the persuades to ply on.

Brexiters promoted the fear of ‘them’ the immigrants invading ‘our’ group if we did not leave Europe.

Experiential/Novel
These people need to feel engaged and excited. They don’t want to be a part of some fashionable social group, they want to different and be seen to be different. If everyone is wearing pink, they will wear yellow. If everyone is always on time they will always be late. Here we enter the world of the novel and new, the world of the gadget.

These people have a keen intellect, they are interested in information and things and how things work and happen. A social type will be nosey. An intellectual type will be interested. Gadgets, science, and new ideas become engaging and exciting. The new concept and the new way of looking at something is persuasive to them.

Because of this drive for newness, novel and unique, they can become easily bored and may seek new and novel stimulation elsewhere. The social type may be praised for their wonderful dish of duck a l’orange, the experiential type seeks praise for their new and novel and experiment with duck a l’banana. To persuade these types requires novel, stimulating and exciting new and different options and ideas.

Power/Importance
‘Tell me I am important’ this is the stance taken by those that seek power. Often egotistical with differing levels of narcissism and sometimes psychopathy, these type not only see themselves as important and as exceptional individuals but also expect you to see them in the same way. They want you to pay homage, bow down and kowtow to their greatness. This person, strange though it may seem, is really built on very insecure foundations. They need other people to give them adoration because they don’t actually feel it themselves. The two most wonderful examples of this are being played out on the international stage as I write this. Both Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un are very insecure people who are seeking to feel more powerful and therefore more secure through their action, communication and threats. For them the potential for their security comes from the bigging up of themselves, ‘my rocket is bigger than yours’ type of stuff.

Imagine a room with a party going on. There is someone sat in the corner chatting and engaging calmly with other people. In walks another person who loudly demands attention. People rush to greet them, the cry goes up that (whoever) has arrived. The new person revels in the accolade and swells with pride. Now, who is the most confident and secure? Is it the person who is comfortable sitting in the corner or the person who needs attention to make them feel secure?

To persuade these insecure types requires that they are told how wonderful they are. If they make you a cup of tea it is not enough to say thank you, they need to hear that it is the best cup of tea that you have ever tasted. If they have a product it has to be so special that no one else could possibly have it. Either or is so rare no-one could find it or so expensive that none could afford it. Often it will need to be brash, bright and full of bling. It needs to be a real head turner.

Status/authority
Status is different from power. The Queen has status but actually has no power. The aristocracy have status and some still have money, though they may have property and big houses, though they are often, in reality, as poor as the church mouse and really have no power. However they demand and get respect and authority from most people.

Status is always a staircase. The solicitor becomes the barrister, becomes the circuit judge, becomes the high court judge, becomes a law lord. At each stage the person has more status but has no personal power. They are only able to exercise the power of the law which is not their power it is the power or parliament.

Persuasion for these people is not about power, novelty or belonging it is about respect, status and greater authority. To acknowledge people and their contribution is through awards, ceremonies and honours. To be an MBE, CBE or to be knighted is an acknowledgment of status and reward. To be called Mr or Mrs has no status, to be Manager, Director, Dr, Professor, Chair person, Sir, Lord, Lady and so on all have greater status. All status systems have their own ladder of progression. In the army there is the private, corporal, lance corporal, sergeant and so on. It was always said that when a service person, in active service, is ‘mentioned in dispatches’ (reports) they will get a medal which is a recognition for them and added status. The medals are then worn proudly at ceremonies to show the persons status. The more medals, the greater the status.

Sensitivity/Empathy
Here we move into a different kind of person and different kind of world. These personalities are not motivated by material things, status, recognition or position. For them the importance of life and therefore their security, is in simply being and being in the right way. Sensitivity and empathy equals harmony. To be in harmony with the universe and the universal energy is seen as more important than anything else.

Persuasion at this point is about being ethical and acting in the right and appropriate way, known as Dharma. To act dharmically or in the right way, reduces negative actions and negative Karma, which is the negative consequence of action. Equally positive actions will lead to positive karma or positive consequence of action. To be sensitive to the inner worlds of others is to be an empath. Empathic sensitivity leads to the drive for care and caring.

This may be expressed as green or ecological living. Not driving when you could cycle or walk. Recycling what you can and generally caring for the environment and other beings. Vegetarian and vegan life styles are often based in empathy. This is the world of questioning the meaning of life, spirituality, philosophies, mindfulness and meditative techniques. Spirituality should not be confused with religion, which is often more to do with status and authority rather than spirituality and empathic expression.

Inspirational/creative
These are the people that create the ideas, products, services, propaganda, beliefs and philosophies that are sold, in whatever form, to all the personalities described above. They are the image makers, the inspirers and the icons that lead and change society.

Ok, a long and involved blog. I will climb off this hobby horse.

In short, the methods and messages that we use to persuade others are only effective when they directly resonate with the personality type and security base that we are communicating with. Remember that the positive drive of persuasion for each type of personality is to increase or maintain their security. The negative drive is for them to avoid any threat to their security. Both drives can have the same effect.

Take care and be happy

Sean x

We have been, unintentionally, following a theme in the podcasts over the last few weeks. I hadn’t realised it until we had Jodie on board and we were talking about veganism and, in some ways, the rights of animals. In recent podcasts we have discussed many subjects all of which are related to, or have a direct link to, power and the use of power. That is, the power that we exercise over our self, over others or over animals and on the world at large. I don’t know if we are the most powerful beings that have ever been on this planet but I do suspect that we could potentially be the most destructive. That destruction domes from the power that we exercise over animals and the environment.

We all exercise power every moment of every day and the more power that we have the greater the impact that we have on the world around us. The issue is are we aware of our power? And, do we take responsibility for the way in which we use our power?

Power and responsibility go together

I have worked in hundreds of organisations and the thing that most of them have in common is that they separate power and responsibility. For instance, the manager or the directorate board have all the power because firstly they are in a position to command and secondly they hold the resources and the budget. In most cases the workers, the staff, hold the responsibility to enact the commands of the directorate board. However they do not have the power.

Imagine a ward in a hospital. The staff have the responsibility to look after the wellbeing of the patients. There may a shortage of staff either people are off sick or there has not been the money to replace those that have left. The level of responsibility for the staff remaining is the same even though now there are less resources to complete the task. While the staff are running around taking responsibility for the patients the directorate board are somewhere else, remote, maybe even at home. The directorate managers have the power but are not taking the responsibility.

Power requires responsibility
This type of scenario is replicated across many organisations public and private. Once power and responsibility become separated in any system it will begin to breakdown. Power without responsibility equals insensitivity, bullying, perpetration, dictatorship, narcissism, and psychopathy. To enact power without responsibility requires a lack of both insight and empathy. The power that committed the Jews to the concentration camps of the Second World War is no different to the power that currently commits cows to the abattoir.

Responsibility requires power
To take responsibility for something without having the power that would enable you to enact that responsibility equals naivety, stupidity, failure, and victimisation. Strangely both have one similar issue. If we go back to the ward. Perhaps the nursing staff do not have the equipment, linen or medication to do their job. They have no power to go and get what they need yet they are held to account and remain responsible for the well being of the patients in their care.

Both situations described above have one thing in common. The person who has the power yet takes no responsibility lacks insight. The person who attempts to enact their responsibility without the power to do it also lacks insight.

What is insight ?
Insight is awareness. Awareness is the application of consciousness. Applied consciousness is what I term ‘the observer self’. It is the ability that we all have to observe what we think, feel and do. To have conscious awareness of our thinking, feeling and doing has two effects. The first is that it give us a choice, “should I, or should I not, do, think or feel?” The second is that is gives us true responsibility. When we act with clarity of purpose and outcome we are acting with insight.

Karma
Karma simply means the consequence of our actions. Everything that we think, feel or do will have an outcome. That outcome will effect us and it will effect other people.

Dharma
Dharma is right action, to act righteously or to do the right thing. To act dharmically is to act, to act with insight, with conscious awareness. It is to act to the best of our ability.

When we act dharmically we act responsibly. When we truly act dharmically we limit the negative consequence or karma of our actions and ensure the best possible outcome for ourselves and for everyone and everything involved in our decision.

Getting it wrong
We’ll get things wrong. At sometime most people look back and think “if had done that differently then…” or “if I knew then what I know now…? There is no blame in getting things wrong, that is not the issue. The issue is can I take responsibility for those things that I got wrong or did wrong?

Sometimes we can repair the damage that we do in life and sometimes we cannot. Sometimes we can repair the damage done to ourselves and sometimes we cannot. We each need to be aware of what we have done, to know what we can change, to leave alone why we cannot change and let it go, and, as the prayer says ‘have the wisdom to know the difference”.

The world is full of those who act without taking any responsibility for their actions. Many of these people are in positions of great power. The negative effects that they have on those that have to take the responsibility of enacting their demands is huge. Simply look at the First World War and all those that died in the trenches in France, for what?

My belief that we will all be alright once we all learn to look after each other is the real application of power used responsibly. As long as we don’t separate power and responsibility we stand a chance of survival.

Be happy and use you insight to use you power responsibly.

Take care

Sean x

We have been developing a theme in the podcasts over the last few weeks. In December we looked at letting go of what was and then looking forward positively to what will be coming next. We then moved on to Veganuary and then the experience of being an outsider. All these topics have an underlying issue for me, that are to do with the exercise of power.

When we look back to last year at what has happened and decide to let go of the negative unresolved emotional attachments that we have to people and events, we are acknowledging the power that these things have over us. In deciding to let them go we are taking our power back. When we look forward with positive intent to the year ahead we are acknowledging our power to have an effect on the world and on our future experience.

The issues of veganism and vegetarianism speak for themselves. We have power and dominion over all the beings on this planet. We exercise our power as we see fit giving little account to the effects that we have on the other earthlings that share this planet with us. And, then when we looked at the idea of outsiders, of who we allow to be one of ‘us’ and who we decide are not ‘us’ but they are one of ‘them’ we raise all the current issues from Hitler to Trump, from the creation of the British Empire to the enactment of Brexit, from the depression of the 1930s to the banking crisis of the last ten years. All these things are us human beings exercising our power.

We all have power. We all exercise power. We do things everyday that effect others. To do nothing is also the exercise of your power, not to act. Not acting can have the same or a greater effect than acting.

It is not the power it is what we do with it that counts

For many British people the concept of power is a negative one. To be powerful often equates with being bad. This has an historical route in the imbalance of power inherent in the class structure of upper and lower class, of high class and working class, the power held over the peasants by the landed gentry. These differences remain a problem in the British psyche today. Perhaps we should see these inequalities as the misuse of power rather than power itself, because like all things power is neutral it is what we do with it that makes it good or bad.

Power is neutral

When it comes to personal power I see it like this. If the power is held out front of the person so that it is used like a battering ram then it is negative and often destructive. It is the ego that says ‘get out of my way I am coming through’. Egos that are out the front that get in the way of communication are the worst parts of egotism, narcissism, psychopathy and the misuse of power. If, on the other hand, the power is held at the back of the person so that it becomes a power pack that drives them forward, then if becomes a powerful tool that creates great breakthroughs and achievements. When power is used as a driving force it is the energy that creates change.

The question that we all have to ask ourselves is…

…is your personal power out the front getting in the way of yourself and others? Or, is it securely behind you giving the confidence and the power to do what is right?

An engineer uses a power rating to define ability, volume or speed of an engine. Engines, motors and various bit of equipment are all given a power rating. The rating is neutral. The engineering definition of power is simply…

…power is the ability to do work

I like this definition because it clearly states that without power, when we are powerless, we cannot get anything done, there is no achievement.

The power drives

Physical power is in our muscles that allow us to move and do things. Social power is in the bonding of groups families and society. Intellectual power creates the ability to understand and perhaps persuade through argument. The power of the ego is that which creates business leaders, stars celebrities and some political leaders. Mental/cognitive power creates form and structures, rules and morals that are enforced by the authority of law and order, convention and culture. Intuitive power is in knowing without knowing, the ability to have deep insight, empathy and sensitive understanding. Inspirational and creative power, create inventors, icons and avatars.

Power comes in many forms. The power to run a race or to be a social genius involves the positive use of energy. All of the drives, defined above, can be expressed positively or negatively, power can be used to create heaven or hell. Yet without power we cannot function and are truly powerless.

Power is always a good thing when it is used positively.

Sadly many of the current models of power that we see enacted on the planet are not giving us the positive alternative. There are too many conflicts going on in the world to list here but we know what they are. Each of these conflicts involve one group of people attempting to exercise their power over another group. However, there might just be another alternative…cooperation?

Love is all there is

In the end the only power that counts is the power of love. I shall go to my grave saying this…

…if we all look after each other we will all be okay..

So simple and yet so true. The power of love is the power of care and the power of sharing.

According to the charity Oxfam just eight men are holding half of all the wealth in the world today. In a world where one in ten people are surviving on the equivalent of less than two US dollars a day this has to be obscene. The report suggest that we will soon see the first trillionaires. To put that into perspective you would have to spend one million a day for 2738 days to spend your trillion.

I doubt if you are a trillonaire, well not yet anyway. Whatever your wealth and whatever your personal power please use it wisely

Take care and be happy

Sean x

In many cases on the podcasts we look at the idea of “us’ and ‘them’ as in are you one of us or one of them. Often in society we are saying do you belong, are you one of us. In this episode we turn it around and look at what happens when we are one of ‘them’ and not one of ‘us’? When you are an outsider standing outside of the group.

To be an outsider usually means that you are different or that you are seen as different. This may be negative in the form of prejudice. Perhaps you are disabled, disfigured, have a speech impediment, perhaps a relative has just been in prisoned for sexual impropriety or violent assault, something has happened that makes you become excluded from the home group.

It could also be positive exclusion, if such a thing exists. Perhaps you have just won the lotto, been made the manager of the team you worked in for many years, or been the only one in your university cohort to gain a first class honours degree.

To be an outsider you are doing or have done something different to the group. Now the group no longer identifies with you. You are now the outsider.

Currently the news is full of Rohingya people that have been expelled from Myanmar, or Burma as was. Whatever the politics and whatever the propaganda the message at some level from the people of Myanmar is “we do not want you, go away. You are not one of ‘us’ you are one of ‘them’. You are outsiders and we no longer want you in our country, to go outside”.

The popularised fuel of the whole Brexit debate was around can we allow these outsiders, these refugees, to become one of us? Will we accept them and allow them in? This then raised the question, do we want to stay with the group of Europe.

Bring on the referendum
The issue seemed to culminate in the British desire, well 52% at least wanting to become outsiders. The expressed desire to no longer be one of ‘us’, of the European Community and become ‘them’ and find our own route outside of the larger community. We have voted to become outsiders, to be one of ‘them’ and no longer one of ‘us’.

Have you ever felt like an outsider?

As I have travelled I have, on many occasions, been the only white person in the room, or the only Brit or in Wales the only English person. My difference was sometimes seen as a handicap as in ‘you bloody limeys’. There were times when I was called ‘honky’ or ‘ghost’. On the other side people wanted to speak English with me and practise their use of the language. I also had very blond and very curly hair that people, especially in Asia, wanted to touch and feel. I was even asked for a lock a couple of times! I know a man who was the tallest man in the UK for a while. He found that when he visited China, which he had to do as part of his job, it became impossible because the locals want to be photographed standing beside him. When it came to the point where he couldn’t leave his hotel because crowds of people were waiting for him to get photographed he decided to call it a day and stopped going there.

Are we all Earthling
In many ways this weeks topic follows on from last week when we discussed Veganism with Jodie. To be a vegan means to stand outside the normal culture of the country and the economy. At the same time to eat an animal requires that at some levels we see that animal as different or less than our fellow humans. If we see humans as a part or our group then to eat them is unthinkable. If we see animal as a part of our group then to eat them is unthinkable.

I mentioned in that podcast, and put them up as my resources, the films Schindler’s List and The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. Both these films describe what happens when we separate a group and make them outsiders. For the Nazis to treat the Jewish people the way that they did required for them to dehumanise the Jews, to exclude them from the group of humanity and make them outsiders who had no human rights and were treated as they treated their animals. The same thing happened in Africa when untold millions were sold into slavery by Europe and America.

The Trump effect
To create a group there has to be normalised ideas, beliefs and behaviours. This is true of a football crowd, a bunch of girls who regularly go out on the jolly, the Mafia gang, a stamp collecting club, the list becomes endless. Once someone stands up and proposes something, they raise their standard, others will begin to gather around that standard and the new group is formed. Once that group is formed there is inside and outside and everyone now has to make a decision, are you in or out. Their will be consequences which way you decide to go, that is the nature of life.

The trick is propaganda. How do we get people to join our cause and take on our beliefs? We use the media. Could be fake news could be real news, could be newspapers and television or radio news. It could be social media or even gossip and the rumour mill.

Once someone like Trump plants his flag and others with the same views begin to gather around him the propaganda machine sets off. The more people that gather the greater the power of the group. The greater the power of the group, the greater the effect that they can have on the outsiders.

Once the Farage and the Brexit band wagon rolled into town the propaganda machine went into action and people started to join it and hey ho, we are out of Europe. The exercise of power is wonderful to study, though terrible for the victims. We should do a podcast on power.

Ok, I’ll climb off my soap box and leave you with this.

The groups that you identify with and belong to will either be positive with outsiders and may, in many ways be looking to create a greater understanding between groups. Or, the group that you are associated with are about increasing the sense of difference between groups of people and not at looking to empathise or understand. You have a choice and your choices are consequential.

Perhaps inviting someone that you see as an outsider in for tea might help humanise humanity.

Take care and be happy

Sean x