TSHP203: Politics and the art of seduction

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What’s Coming This Episode?

You might not think it so, but Margaret Thatcher was one of the most effective seductresses of our times. No, seriously! Seduction goes much deeper than just physical attraction so we thought we’d have a chat about just that this week…

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

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Seduction, the truth and politicians

In the last podcast Ed and I were looking at the psychological phenomenon of ‘attitude alignment’, the idea that we, below our awareness, take on the prevailing attitudes of whichever group we are with. On the day we were recording that podcast, Theresa May announced that she was going to the country in a general election. It seems to me that this is a fabulous opportunity to watch attitude alignment in action as the various spin doctors and attitude manipulators do their best to sway us voters to embrace their attitudes. Are we actually being seduced?

I see both the advantages and disadvantages of capitalism and both the advantages and disadvantages of socialism. Though either does not seduce me. Last week Ed described himself as a ‘centralist’ and I guess I join him in that. The centre ground is where most people are. In this election the attitude aligners will attempt to sway the centre ground to either the left or the right. So, here we go again, another election. Prepare to be swayed or seduced.

Both Ed and I are not really politically motivated though we do have the shared attitude alignment in the belief that human beings are best served by coming together as groups in common interest rather than breaking down in ever smaller factions. Because of that we are both ‘remainers’ though not ‘remoaners’. And because of that fundamental idea in common unity we run, with Rie, Live In The Present and run courses designed to bring people together.

For me the issues of Brexit are not those of economics or immigration they are those of the development of human consciousness, which I see as the reality of evolution. The process of evolution that took single celled organisms to the primates and homosapiens of today is not only the evolution of biology, physiology, sociology and psychology, it is also that of evolving consciousness.

Evolution is not something that did happen and then stopped, it is happening right now in you and me and all around us. Evolution continues and forever will do so. The key to understanding evolution will always be the investigating evolution of consciousness. Evolution is the increasing awareness and awake-ness of mind that is expressed in physical form. In many senses evolution is the increasing ability of consciousness to become aware of itself.

Looking back at social history we can show that behaviours and practices that were acceptable a few hundred years ago are now considered difficult, wrong and unacceptable. After all it was only in the 1960’s that women in Britain ceased to be the property or chattels of their husbands or fathers. In many countries women still suffer inequality with their men folk. I suspect that many women in Britain would, even now, feel that they do not have full equality.

As our human consciousness evolves people’s behaviour gradually develops to be less damaging and more helpful to itself and to all other beings and even the environment and the planet as a whole. With greater awareness we learn to attend to the needs of each other. As I often say my simple life philosophy is that…

…if we all look after each other we will all be ok

Without going over old ground too much social history shows us that the division of countries across Europe and across the world led to the two great world wars. Following the creation of the League of Nations, the United Nations and the European community, NATO and the multi-various trade agreements have all been the expression of the natural desire of consciousness to envelope. That is human beings growing in awareness, coming together and working together.

Division and separation, in the end, serves no one and creates more problems for human beings and all sentient beings and the environment on the planet.

Look out for the aligners
Who is attempting to align your attitudes with theirs. Each party and each group will be attempting to get your vote. One thing that we need to consider is whether people are telling us the truth. Ed raised several cases where Trump and May have been shown to be lying. Psychopathic behaviour when applied to politicians is the ability to appear genuine and sincere and then go and do something completely different. When someone will tell us anything at anytime to get the response that they really want we need to be mindful and listen for the sound behind their words, what is it that they really mean? What are they really saying?

If you recall that vast amount of money that was advertised on the side if the UKIP bus that would be put into the NHS which was then denied by Farage when he was directly questioned in an interview.

Being seduced can be fun
When I go to replace my car I love that process of the salesperson doing whatever they can to secure the sale. It is seduction in action. There is nothing wrong with being seduced as long as we are mindful of what is going on and that we are seduced with both our knowledge and consent.

So, through out this election period enjoy the seduction that you will be subject to be friends, family, the media or even on the doorstep. Be mindful of what is happening and simply ask your self ‘Why are they saying that, what do the really mean, what is the true sound behind their words?’

Take care and be happy

Sean

TSHP202: Where do our attitudes come from and how can we change the unhealthy ones

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Our attitudes are not often something we think about. They are how they are – we’ve had them for years and we do things without thinking. But take a look in the mirror every now and then and you may find that some are unhealthy and damaging us, so how did we get them and how can we move on? Attitude alignment folks! It’s big!

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

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Attitude Alignment

Blaming your friends for your lack of drive could be real. So could blaming them for your energy and enthusiasm and for your prejudice, bias and bigotry.

This story caught my attention and made me think a lot about why we are the way that we are. Where do our attitudes and beliefs come from? Well we know that our system, our mindbrain is blank at the moment of birth and that we accumulate information from what we observe, what we hear and do. These become our habits that are the building blocks of our paradigm of how we are or how we believe ourselves to be.

A new study shows that people tend to unconsciously imitate the lazy [and energetic] attitudes of those around them. So, you could blame your friends for your lack of drive, I suppose?

Perhaps we need to see this as a possible effect, it is not inevitable. Mindless responses lead to simple imitation. MIndful responses lead to choice.

Researchers Jean Daunizeau and Marie Devaine, from INSERM in Paris, combined mathematical modelling and cognitive psychology to explore the laws that govern this “attitude alignment”. They asked 56 participants to make a series of decisions involving effort, both before and after having observed the decisions of fictitious participants (in fact: artificial intelligence algorithms) whose lazy attitudes were sensibly calibrated.

The study results show that participants are bound to a “false-consensus” bias. That is, they believe without evidence that the attitudes of others resemble their own. It also shows that people exhibit a “social influence” bias. Their attitude tends to become more similar to those of people around them.

This natural bias to imitate the behaviour of the group, team or unit is common to us all. The researchers noted that participants seem to be mostly completely unaware of these biases.

It all happens below our awareness unless we are mindful of our thoughts, feelings and actions.

The mathematical simulations demonstrate that both biases, and the surprising interaction between social influence and false consensus, are hallmarks of a unique mechanism that is ideally suited to learning both about and from others’ covert attitudes.

This suggests that unless we are awake to ourself we are deluded by our need to experience feelings of social conformity, to feel that we belong. Attitude alignment is necessary for stable membership of any group. It is the basic requirement to make you one of ‘us’ for you to belong.

The researchers are currently applying this work to assess whether this form of attitude alignment may differ in people suffering from neuropsychiatric conditions, such as autism spectrum disorder.

The most important part of this research is the realisation that we all simply conform unless we are able to question. To act or react without insight is mindlessness. To act or respond in mindfulness. Reactions happens without awareness. Responses happen with awareness.

In mindful awareness we can never blame others for our beliefs, attitudes or actions. We are always responsible for how we respond to any situation. Being responsible or respondable is to be Mindful

Take care and be mindful

Sean x

TSHP201: The Power of Altruism

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What’s Coming This Episode?

You’d think after 200 episodes that we’d have exhausted all possible half help categories but far from it. The subject of altruism popped up on Ed’s feed and it’s a fantastic one. Here goes…

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

Resource of the Week

  • Sean said feed the homeless near you…
  • Ed recommended the movie ‘Chef’s Table’

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Altruism

“Feed the world”….So sang Bob Geldof and Co at Live Aid.

A recent article in the Huffingtonpost looked at some psychological research that suggests that cooking for and feeding others is hugely satisfying for the cook as well as the recipients.

As a cook, I love it, I know that feeling of joy and satisfaction of watching and being with people who are enjoying what I have cooked for them. For me food is an expression of love that is the love of life itself.

Food is life and to feed others is to give them life

I wondered where such feelings come from and then listening to James Wong & Michael Mosley I realised that it all begins with breast feeding. He was explaining that the food we really crave have a perfect balance of sugar and fat. These two together in equal quantities do not appear naturally in nature, it would seem that we have had to learn to create them. It might be in chocolate or a wonderful savoury sauce it is the fats and sugars that get us going. Then he dropped the bombshell. Actually there is one place in nature where fat and sugar is naturally presented to us. It is in breast milk.

That would suggest to me that what we are really doing, in our fancy restaurants and with our fancy recipes and our Michelin stars, is to recreate the sensation, satisfaction and comfort of being breast fed.

Now, from the work I did, many years ago, with the breast feeding counsellors at the National Childbirth Trust, it appeared that breast feeding mums generally get a tremendous amount of joy and happiness from the act of breast feeding. I also know from neuroscience that breast feeding creates lots of oxytocin in the brains of both the mother and the child.

Oxytocin is a hormone that is made in the brain, in the hypothalamus. It is transported to, and secreted by, the pituitary gland, which is located at the base of the brain. Widely referred to as the love hormone, oxytocin has also been dubbed the hug hormone, cuddle chemical, moral molecule, and the bliss hormone due to its effects on behaviour, including its role in love and in female reproductive biological functions in reproduction.

Psychologically Oxytocin is the bonding chemical. Dopamine is the hormone of attraction that is the honeymoon period in a relationship. Couples that make the transition from dopamine to oxytocin become bonded and stay together. Those that remain in the dopamine phase tend to wander to new, more exciting and dopamine producing experiences.

Now, I may be bonkers but, it would seem to me that cooking, baking and breastfeeding are all doing the same thing. That is, creating oxytocin in both the cooks and the diners. After all once a mother turns from the breast and weans the child onto solid food the same action and intention of feeding is maintained in both the mother and the child and the bond, or oxytocin, is maintained. It is a short step to chefs and restaurants where both the feeder and the fed feel that bonded sense of belonging and the comfort of what is really comfort food.

We know that eating carbs causes the brain to secrete serotonin, the wellbeing hormone. It is the fats and the sugars that create oxytocin. It would seem that food and mood certainly do go together.

Take care and enjoy your meal

Sean x

TSHP200: Why We Celebrate (OMG 200 EPISODES!)

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What’s Coming This Episode?

A special occasion for the show as we hit 200 episodes. THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU FOR SUPPORTING US OVER THE YEARS. We thought we’d take a moment to delve into why we have these strange rituals of celebration (not that we’re complaining). Here’s the the next 200 you guys 🙂

Enjoy the show, it’s The Self Help Podcast!

Show Notes and Links

Resource of the Week

Stay in Touch

We’re all over the web, so feel free to stay in touch:

Leave us an Honest Review on iTunes

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Happy 200th Birthday to us :)

Hey, we have got to number 200, that’s over 100 hours of podcasts and a lot of blogs. I have to begin with a big thank you to all of you who have read the blogs and listen to Ed and I over the last four years. You have a lot of sticking power. We have both been really pleased by the positive response that has come our way in both texts and emails.

So, this week we popped a bottle of bubbly and settle in, by a log fire (can someone wake up spring!), to talk about celebration and as usual we wandered around the subject. Our celebration was about having come this far with the podcast, share some ideas with each other about where we might go next.

I would also like to thank Ed for his steady contribution and continued commitment to the podcast. I remember the first ones that we attempted and than had to bin before we finally got to something that we thought would be good enough to put out on the air. Amazingly they were liked and we shot into the top ten ‘new and notable’ on iTunes where we stayed for some months and even hit the number one spot, fabulous.

The one person who should have been on this 200th celebration with us was Rie, who does so much behind the scenes. Sadly Rie suffers from some form of modesty, not shared by Ed and I, where she avoids cameras and microphones as much as she possibly can. Saying that, we did get her on one podcast when she was talking about the amazing work that she does at The Clatterbridge Cancer Centre. Half way through the episode she accidently knocked a glass of water into the keyboard of her mac and we had to pause the podcast and sort it all out. The laptop was repaired, but I doubt we will ever convince her to get behind a mic again, though we will carry on trying.

So, I want to thank Rie for all the work that she does for the Live in the present site, the podcast, books and courses.

And, to you reading this, and listeners of the podcast, I want to once again thank you. Without each and everyone of you the podcast would not have happened or continue to happen. Thank you all for listening, for your feedback and ideas and your ongoing support, cheers.

Last of all I want to thank all the guests who have given their time to come on the podcast and share their work and their lives with us all. You know there really are some amazing people out there doing some amazing things. Maybe you would like to come on the podcast and share the mindful things that you are up to in your life.

To the awake mind all of life is a celebration. Every morning when we wake into a new world we can celebrate the dawning of a new day. With every breath that we take we can celebrate the wonder of our life. life is a journey from our first in breath to our last out Breath.

Now I am off to finish this bottle of bubbly with Ed and celebrate just how good life is.

With love and gratitude

Sean x