The Truth About Mindfulness

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As you will have guessed Ed and I are into Mindfulness, we do keep going on about it. The question is, is Mindfulness all that it is cracked up to be? It is currently being highlighted negatively in some press reports. A review published today in the journal ‘Perspectives on Psychological Science’ suggests that the hype about the effects of Mindfulness is ahead of the evidence. Some reviews of the studies done on mindfulness suggest it may help with psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, and stress. However, even grander claims that are being made for the power of mindfulness can begin to make it look a bit silly. I can feel ‘the Secret Issue’ all over again. So, let’s get out of the hype and look at what Mindfulness really is.

The two words that get translated into the word mindfulness are the Sanskrit word Smrti and the Pali word Satti. Both would be translated as remembrance or to remember. This means that to be mindful is to remember but remember what?

The mind will always wander, it is what minds do. To allow the mind to simply wander is seen as mindless. To be mindful is to gently gather the mind back to a point of focus. Mindful practices are simply techniques that teach us to remember to bring our attention back to the point of focus. When the mind wanders and becomes mindless we forget to focus. When we realise that the mind has wandered and we bring it back to the point of focus we have just practised mindfulness. We forget and then we remember over and over again and this is the practice.

So what is the practical application of this. Mindful practice is normally based around, and begins with, breath focus exercises. We all know that our mind wanders. It is fairly easy to get hold of the idea that if we can be more focussed, in whatever we are doing, we will get a bit better at it. So if we sit and try to focus on our breath the mind will wander. As we observe the wandering mind and bring it back to the breath we are learning to be mindful. The more we practice the less we get attached to the wandering mind and the more we able to focus. The magic effect of this is that learning to focus spreads from the simple mindfulness practice into the rest of our life and we find that we have improved concentration, we are able to get more done and can become a more efficient person.

We also become more attentive and aware. With increased awareness the side effects can be calmness, increased sensitivity, reduced stress, pressure and anxiety and increased happiness. It is obvious that some people will not like meditating, even people that ‘like’ meditating have moments of not liking, that’s the point we become aware, we notice craving and aversion. For the people who really don’t ‘like’ there are other ways to develop mindfulness.

Mindfulness purists will tell you that the only way you can become mindful is to meditate, this is not true. To be Mindful is to remember to be in the present moment. Many processes allow us to be in the moment such as running or any exercise that requires that we are living in the present moment.

It is quite right to say that someone can mindfully make a cake, paint a picture, write a book, ride a bike and so on as long as we mean that during those activities we were remembering to be in the present moment.

Once we realise that most depression is attachment to past unresolved emotional events and that depression comes from reliving these events in the present, it then follows that if we can remember to let go of the past, and remember to focus into the present then the depression will diminish.

Once we realise that most anxiety is the imagination projecting into the future imaging events that may never happen and living them in the present, it then follows that if we remember to let go of the future, and remember to focus into the present then the anxiety will diminish.

Mindfulness is not a trick, it is not a magic cure, it is the simple act of remembering to remember. It is Satti and Smrti it is remembrance.

When we forget to remember, when we become mindless, our world can change in a very different way. When we forget who we are we can do bad or negative things that do not serve us well and may lead us into harm or danger. We can create debt, make bad relationships or create dependency on substances, things or other people. It is only in remembering that we overcome addictions and problems.

When we remember to remember we have moved from reaction to response. When we respond we become truly ‘respondable’ or responsible and choose to take control of who we really are. Any process or change comes from the ability of remembering to remember. But, you know what?, doing some mindfulness practice for just thirty minutes a day will make remembering to remember oh, so, much easier to do.

Above all remember to be happy

Take care

Sean x

Writers Block

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Have you ever stared at a white piece of paper or an empty computer screen knowing that you should now be creating? Words should now be appearing in front of you like water flowing from a tap. It might be an essay, an assignment, report, thesis, or the latest crime thriller, but right now your mind is completely blank. We call this writer’s block. We have become creatively stuck. It’s as though there is nothing there. No thoughts, no ideas, no dreams, the creative cupboard is just empty. We need inspiration. We need to find our muse. Writers block is really just one facet of creative constipation. The creative channel has become blocked, clogged, there is no flow.

For Michael Angelo to reveal the statue of David from a block of marble he had to first hold the image of David in his creative mind. Had he not been able to see that image then nothing would have happened, he would not have even bothered to pick up his hammer and chisel and get to work. Or, Leonardo DaVinci taking up his brushes to paint the Mona Lisa. Or, indeed the creators of Stone Henge or the Pyramids. It all starts with an image. Before we can strike the first blow of the chisel, the first stroke of the brush, the first line with a pencil, the first letter with the pen or the first pressed computer key we need an image. We need to have some idea of our starting point though we may not be clear of the end point. The image is the direction in which our efforts will go.

Problem solving
For most people the expression of creativity is really them enacting their ability to solve problems, which, by the way, we all have. Problem solving comes in many forms.

We might consider the act of getting a man on the moon, a massive and concerted collective effort of creativity. From the image that it is possible, the understanding of the astronomy, the rocket, the fuel, the trajectory, the science, right down to the last nut and bolt are all the results of human creativity in action.

Can you make a cup of tea?
If the answer is ‘yes’ then consider your self a creative genius. The ability to make a cup of tea begins with an image. The image is turned into a creative process and the end result of which is a cup of tea. Sometimes your tea will be good and sometimes not so good depending on your ability to enact the creative process.

When we are unable to solve problems whether it is great art, music, science, literature, DIY, personal relationships, social equality, political union, or the ability to feed the world and live in peace we are suffering from ‘creative block’ we have become creatively constipated.

Overcoming creative constipation
Creativity is not a simple single event, it is not the simple expression of an image or idea, creativity is a seven stage process. Most people fail to be creative because at some point in the creative processes they are blocked. So, let’s have a look at the process.

1: Inspiration
A creative image is the urge, the desire to get creative and produce something, and it begins with feeling inspired. The key here is in the word ‘feeling’. You can feel inspiration but you can’t think inspiration. When we are inspired it is by an image that is generated internally or externally. The great orators, Martin Luther King, Churchill and even Hitler were able to share images so powerful that they inspired millions of people to act and even die in pursuit of the image. Advertising is about creating inspirational images of products that will seduce people to go and buy them. Whatever the endeavour the act of creativity begins with the image.

Action: If you are stuck and cannot find your muse or feel no inspiration take a break, stop doing what isn’t working, read, watch and listen but most importantly stop trying to force it. Most inspiration drops into your awareness, it pops out of the blue, it may present itself while we are in the shower or walking the dog. The trick is when inspiration calls do something about it, act. In action we activate the creative process, when we fail to act our creativity simply withers on the vine.

2: The Implications
Let’s assume that you have a clear image, you can feel the inspiration and feel ready to get going with it, now is the time to ask the question what effect will your creative endeavour have on you, on other people, on the world around you or even on the future of mankind. When Einstein created the maths that led to the splitting of the atom his image was one of limitless power for all. He did not consider the implications that his work would lead to the creation of the atomic bomb that was eventually dropped on Hiroshima and is the basis of the current stand off between the USA and North Korea. When we act creatively it has an effect large or small. What when enacted will your creative image have on others? The implications maybe all good and positive creating a win win with those around you. In most cases for someone to win there will be losers. If your image involves taking a job in the evening to raise some cash it may effect your partner or family. Many creative ideas fail at this point because the implications have not been truly considered.

Action: To ensure the free flow of your creativity check out the implications. Share your image with other people and see whether they have other ideas that may help you adapt it and maybe make it better or more effective. Most importantly if you share you image with those people that it will effect they may give you their support as well, your image may inspire them.

3: The plan
The next common point of failure is lack of planning. As the say “fail to plan and you plan to fail”. You have shaped your image and created the inspiration, you have considered the implications and effects on others, okay, so how are you going to do it what is the plan? Where will you do it? Do you need a particular space, a room, a desk, an office a factory? What equipment do you need? What systems do you need to run your image? Time to create your plan. If you struggle with planning try this.

Action: Forward basing.
This is best done in a large room, but you could use post-it notes on a table. At one end of the room Blu-tack some paper on the wall and write a statement of your current position/situation on it. At the other end of the room put up paper and write a statement about your goal, the fulfilment of the image or it might be the completion of the first stage, if you have a large project. Now, use the space between these two statements laying out pieces of paper that are the steps that need to be taken that will get you from where you are to where you need to be. This process may take sometime and even some days or weeks if the steps need some research or verification. Once you have a clear plan in place, remembering that it is not set in stone and can be adapted as needed, run a time line along the side wall. A time line indicates how long it will take to get from one wall to the other and at what point in the time line does each step need to be completed. Okay, now you have a plan.

4: Resourcing
Next point of failure is lack of resources. Often this is the money required to get the equipment, premises or for support while the project gets going. It may simply be that you need a computer and do not have the cash. Sometimes the greatest resource that we need is time. This may mean getting someone to look after the kids, reducing your working week to part time or simply making it clear to family and friends that you are working and do not want to be disturbed.

Action: List all the resources that you will need and at what stage in your plan you will need them. Consider how you can fund these resources. Are there people who can offer you help? If you need to approach a money source such as investors or a bank you will require to formalise your plan into a business plan. Many banks have kits to help you do this or local chambers of commerce can be helpful.

5: Testing
You have a clear image, you have worked through any implications of enacting it, the plan is clear and understood and is now fully resourced, time to check if it works. If your image is to be a writer start writing, if it is production do a test run, if it is as a performer do a performance. Whatever your image test you plan. Does it work?

Action: Make or enact your first creation, observe it, if necessary check it with other people, does it work? Often this is a good time to use focus groups and do the market research. This is the time when the testing can show the need to adjust the image, vary the plan, or take into account unseen implications or the need for extra funding or resources.

6: Time to get on with it
This bit of the creative process is sometimes termed ‘the vital energy’ that is needed to really make it happen. Up to this point the process has remained, in some ways, theoretical, now it is the real thing. Lots of people have fabulous ideas, ideas that could have really changed the world, they plan and play all kinds of games in preparation for the big event that never happens. This final push is the final stage in the creative process. It is the real enacting of the original image. For big projects it may be the final phase of staffing the production team and making the production work. For smaller projects just get on with it.

Action: Do it.

7: Congratulations
So here you are with the finished book, jumper, meal, widget or whatever, in your hands. You are now officially a creative genius. You have taken an inspired image right through the creative process to actual creation. Pat on the back time. Looking at what you have achieved you may now need to develop it and look at the second iteration.

Action: Okay, so now that you are officially a creative genius what is you next project?

If we could develop the clear inspirational image of peace and happiness perhaps we could create heaven on earth right now?

Take care and create your own happiness

Sean x

Are you a supportive partner?

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This week a listener emailed and was asking for advice on how they could help support their partner who had been having a few problems. It can be hard to give a simple answer to such questions without seeing the partner, or the couple face to face in person or online, but it gave Ed and I plenty to think about and talk about.

When I was thinking about it the first thing that occurred to me was how many people, who come to see me, are actually talking about the problems of another person, usually their partner. Or more specifically how their partner’s problems are effecting them. In such cases the drive to help the partner also involves the drive to help them self.

Listening
We all need support and that involves both listening and sharing. In psycho speak we talk about active listening which is a whole size bigger than simply listening. In actively listening we are looking for the meaning behind the words and the relationship between words used and the associated body language. If someone says ‘yes’ while shaking their head there is something wrong.,

Reflective listening might be just checking out what your partner meant by maybe paraphrasing what they just said to check that you did actually hear correctly what they said. Mirroring is saying back to the person the same words that they used to you. This can be annoying if done insensitively, however it does give your partner the chance to hear what they just said and perhaps see the true meaning in what they are saying. Let’s say your partners says “I want to end it all” the mirrored response might simply be “You want to end it all?”. The fact that it has now become a question requires an answer or explanation.

Sharing
Listening is one half of a transaction, sharing is the other half. If in a relationship both parties understand the positive effect of both listening and sharing then everyone’s needs have a good chance of being met. Willingness to share may involve personal vulnerability. It may also be affected by what it is that we feel is right or appropriate to share. Certainly some of the things that I deal with I would never share because they may be too difficult or even horrendous and require a professional relationship to be dealt with. In a general sense when there is permission in a relationship to share difficult issues or feelings this can be bonding just as not sharing can drive people apart.

Supporting
It all depends on the issue. If your partner is feeling down, or is having a tough time at work or with the kids a simple chat might just crack it. If the problems of feeling down are developing greater levels of depression or anxiety professional help or even medication may be required.

Generalised support
Let’s assume that all is well and together as a partnership we are dealing with the normal everyday stresses of modern day living, what do we need to be doing for each other? Support for me means appreciation, gratitude, being helpful and doing what you can for each other, covering each other’s backs and trying not to do things that undermine each other.

Time together time apart
For me time together is a vital part of my relationship. We go away quite a lot so that we can just be together. Some couples that I work with like to spend time apart perhaps going on holidays on their own or with other people. I guess it is whatever works for you as a couple and if you don’t ask you don’t know.

Fun
Fun and laughter are great therapy. Couples that laugh together stay together, or perhaps families that laugh together stay together. What is fun for you as an individual? What is fun for you as a couple? What is fun for you as a family? Having fun is often a choice. On the basis that what you feed grows and what you starve dies we can make those things that happen to us into ever bigger problems or they can become challenges and learning opportunities. Changing what can be tough situations into positive ones is a skill, but we can all develop it.

Helping your partner
So, let’s say that your partner is going through tough stuff, maybe they are depressed or suffering anxiety, perhaps they have lost their job or are suffering grief and bereavement, whatever it is and what other help they are getting we can still be supportive.

Develop a plan, agree a gentle push to help them get going again. Encourage them to talk and do things and develop positive coping strategies.

Tone down the stressors, reduce those things that they find most stressful and difficult, simplify life.

Move, the healing power of simply getting some exercise, even a slow walk around the block can energise your body and in turn energise your mind.

If you feel overwhelmed by it all get help. Your partner may need therapy to deal with their issues but you may also need therapy to help you deal with your partner.

Take care and be happy

Sean x

Would you donate your organs?

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This weeks podcast and blog has been inspired by a listener who directed me to an article about a little girl who had died. They pointed out how many people she helped to live by the donation of her organs. This was a hot and difficult topic for the listener as they are now in a similar situation where a relative close to them will shortly die. Their family are currently discussing the rightness or wrongness of donating organs. Their discussion also raised the issue of the rights of the family versus the donor. Should the family have a say in someone’s decision to become an organ donor. They suggested that Ed and I do a podcast to look at this difficult issue. I started asking people, checking some services and ideas online. The first issue seems to be is it right or wrong?

So, is it right to give part of your body to another person? Some people who become donors donate their body once they are dead while others do so while they are still alive giving away a kidney, bone marrow, eggs and semen, blood and so on. The whole issue raises so many questions. The main one being just because we can do something should we?

Would you be a recipient?
Ok, so would you accept an organ from a donor? Would you accept a blood transfusion?
As a lot of these issues are so personal I have put in quite a few links, some about people who have actually had the transplants described. The issues of both accepting and giving body parts hits at the very core of what do we believe, issues of morality and what is right and wrong.

Would you donate?
Would you give an organ? Do you carry a donor card? Sixty two percent of people in Britain do carry a card, while only 4% of us are prepared to give blood? And each year hundreds of people donate their entire body to anatomical and medical science.

It would seem that donating your very skin and bones is the ultimate act of altruism. For many the feeling is that once you are dead you no longer need them and the may as well be recycled. For others a desecration of someone’s remains is the ultimate act of disrespect.

I have worked with people who have been waiting a very long time for a suitable donor and some who have died while waiting due to the lack of suitable donors. I also know someone who chose to donate a kidney to a complete stranger on the basis that they had two and only needed one. They literally just put themselves on the register and eventually a suitable recipient came along.

I have also worked with both heart and liver recipients of transplants who despite their gratitude to the donor experience the development of odd behaviours, habits and cravings, as though the organ brought a certain amount or memory with it. Not all donations are easily received.

Man who rejected donor hands
Even those that do receive an organ or as in the link below a pair of hands are unable to accept and accommodate the gift. This man decided that he would rather have them removed.

Face transplants
It may equally be true of the recipients of another persons face. In this link the man has had an astounding reconstruction. I look in the mirror now and find that the effects of age have changed the person who is looking back leaving me with the question ‘who are you?’ An interesting and educational journey.

Blood transfusions
In the Christian faith Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that the Bible says taking blood is wrong and would not accept blood transfusions. Therefore, they would not donate. They also keep their own blood for future transfusion. Many non-Christians would concur and refuse to give or receive blood. For me I am happy to both give and receive blood.

Animal organs – pigs
This a big one. Is it right to create an animal that has been engineered so that its body parts would be acceptable to the human body? Does this raise the issues of animal rights? I guess that if you are happy to eat meat then organs are a byproduct of the same process. For me, as a vegetarian, the idea of breeding an animal to harvest it’s organs is outrageous. But it is a personal issue.

Faecal transplants
This is a very interesting area of research. With the development of neuropsychology the relationship between the gut and our brains and between the gut and our emotional self is being investigated. It seems that we can say ‘happy gut happy brain’. We know that many medications, including antibiotics rip the natural flora out of the gut. This can have many consequences including emotional issues such as depression. Current experiments where faecal matter from people with a health gut/brain is transplanted into those lacking in appropriate flora is showing good results. Have a look at the link below it might open your eyes to the possibilities. How would you feel about having someone else’s faecal matter transferred into your gut?

Donor eggs and sperm
IVF and fertility clinics would not normally be associated with ideas of donation but that is exactly what they are. Even if the couple involved are known to each other and the IVF follows the same route that would have been taken naturally we are still moving bits of one person into another. One thing that concerns me in this area is the idea of designer babies, either to create a certain quality of child or a second child whose blood or umbilical fluids might be used to cure a brother or sister.

Looking at this overall I ask myself again the question ‘just because we can do something should we do it?’ Once we play with the gene pool we are releasing unknown consequences into the future. Lots to think about in this podcast and blog.
Take care and be happy.

Sean x

What is Cyberchondria?

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I have been aware of Cyberchrondria for many years. I always called it Google-itis. It is when the patient or the client has become so well informed about their condition that they often know more about it than their doctor or therapist. Sometimes, what they think is information can be ‘mis-information’ as the sources of their information maybe dubious and come from any site or chat room on the internet.

According to Laura Donnelly, health editor (UK) Daily Telegraph,

‘Cyberchondria” is fuelling an epidemic of health anxiety, with one in five NHS appointments taken up by hyperchondriacs and those with irrational fears, experts have warned.’

Cyberchrondia is the modern digital equivalent of hyperchondria that is a fear of illness often morbidly so. Usually seen as delusional, often accompanied by the hysterical development of physical symptoms that are dismissed by the doctor or therapist. Sadly I see, on a regular basis, those with genuine symptoms and concerns ignored by their physician, who suspect them of hyperchondria, only to go on and develop full blown and, sometimes, fatal disease.

If the statistics are true and that twenty percent of NHS time is wasted, the money spent looking after people who are not ill we have a problem…. But, just hold on a minute, maybe we have this wrong and we do have a problem, just not the one that we think we have.

What takes these people to the doctor in the first place?
Why would someone invest so much of their time and energy in worrying about being ill? Ok, so maybe they do not have a physical medical issue but they certainly do have a issue. It is called anxiety.

In my discipline of psychotherapy we recognise that around 60% of those visiting a general practitioner/physician have an anxiety issues rather than a physical problem. We also know that when patients do have a genuine physical issue it is often exacerbated through their anxiety and concerns.

This does not mean that these people are wasting NHS time because they do not have a issues, they very much do have an issue it is called ‘Health Anxiety’.

Health Anxiety
All forms of anxiety happen when the consciousness of the individual is projected into their future. They are not living in their present. Fear of flying, is not fear of flying it is fear of crashing, fear of heights is fear of falling and so on.

You need a good imagination
Any anxiety can be defined as the person projecting into the future and imagining things that may never happen and then living those fears in the present as though they are actually happening right now. The better the person imagination the more intense their anxiety. You cannot be anxious without a good imagination. The person with health anxiety is using their imagination to assume and fear the worst and living those fears in the present as if they are true.

Often phobias and anxiety fears run side by side. So that health anxiety can lead to many phobic reactions and changes in behaviour to avoid a supposed or suspected illness or infection. Because of this health anxiety is often accompanied by obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), the obsessive recitation of actions or thoughts. In reality the need to visit and revisit the internet to Google symptoms and diseases is also a form of OCD.

Symptom substitution
The problem for these people is not that it is ‘health anxiety’ it is simply that they have ‘anxiety’ disorder. When someone has learned the habit of anxiety, living a supposed future in the present, the anxiety will attach itself to whatever is the latest focus of their attention. So, now it just happens to be health. If we resolve this obsession with health the anxiety will simply attach itself to something else. So, now we have fear of flying followed by fear of nuclear war, followed by fear of losing a job, followed fear of becoming homeless. The attachments made by anxiety can go anywhere on an endless list of possibilities.

This is a real problem
This is not a fantasy. For the sufferer it is very real. It is not something where you can tell the person to pull themselves together and just stop worrying. From my experience as a therapist, and from what I read, anxiety is a developing and increasing problem. We can see from these statistics from the NHS and from the information form the office of national statistics (ONS) that amount of hours and days lost to sickness absence due to anxiety is a growing problem. So, if we are to solve the problem the question is why is it developing and what can we do about it?

Life style changes
The person that was, just a few generations ago, driving a horse and cart is now flying a jumbo jet. The world has changed, we have not. In the preindustrial, pre-urban society we ate what we could grow, foods that were in season and our expectations were less. With industrialisation and production comes choice and we now know that choice is stressful. Research shows us that if, when we are in the supermarket, we have a choice of one hundred different types of cheese, this in itself creates stress for us. If the choice is limited to less that ten types of cheese the stress is much less. Think of the level of choices that we all have in all parts of our life. More choice, more decision making, more opportunity to get it wrong, the more stress.

From the moment you wake to the moment that you arrive at work or school you will have processed more information than your great grandparents would have processed in several months. Life and news is instantaneous. Most of us are contumely connected. WE cannot escape and simply relax.

Longevity
With improved living standards, nutrition and medication has come a longer life. In the UK we are looking at female death age in the mid nineties and men in the late eighties. In one sense with more time has come more anxiety. Also with longer life has come more disease. Illnesses that a few generations ago people would simply not have lived long enough to get have now become common place. We probably all know someone who has had cancer. We are now told that 50% of us will get cancer. However, we also told that the majority of us will survive it. The message that we focus on will depend on our anxiety. Those with anxiety disorder are likely to hear “50% of us will get cancer”. Those without anxiety disorder are likely to hear “most of us will survive it”. There are other aspect of potential anxiety related to longevity such as pensions, financial support and care homes etc.

Expectation
Along with increased life has come increased expectation. Expectation of wealth and consumerism, an expectation of things, of stuff. Many are no longer prepared to save before they purchase they rely on credit. Just like anxiety, credit gives us a way to experience the potential future in the present. From car loans and mortgages to credit cards and store cards we live the future in the present. It is then that we experience the pressure, the anxiety of having to pay it all off. The average UK household currently has about £12,887.00 of unsecured credit, that is before mortgages and car loans. (ONS)

Media
The development of expectation is fuelled by the media, advertising and marketing. It serves to convince us that we need things that we have never known about before. The new phone that appears every eighteen months, the lasted model of car, fashion, bags, shoes and consumables. For many fashion equals stress as we are convinced of those things that we just must have.

News
Alongside media is the news that is broadcast at us every hour of the day. News rarely or never tells us anything that is good, rather it fires up the fears and anxieties of the listeners. News is never balanced. News is about all that is bad and all the bad that will happen. It feeds our fear and anxiety, it creates anxiety. The news feeds about all the immigrants that would be wrecking Britain if we did not leave Europe, the madness of North Korea and Donald Trump. It really is, pick your fear and the news media will run with it and feed it until it fizzles out. They will be onto the next great fear. I detect a fear change. The fear of Europe appears to be changing slowly into a fear of Brexit. Whatever will be next, perhaps Facebook will tell us?

Internet
That leads us into the internet and Google that does everything from misdiagnosing our symptoms, to making us envious of those wonderful lives that we see on Facebook and Instagram, to wanting products from Amazon and other online markets.

Technology
But, we must not forget our need for the devices that allow us to play with the internet. Phones, tablets, laptops, desktops, smart TVs. I wonder what device you are using to read this on? As I write the news feeds are telling me about the impending iOS 11 and the new iPhone that is rumoured to cost $1000.00.

Strangely the word ‘chondria’ comes from the Greek meaning cartilage. So hyper would infer an over focussing on the inner tissues hence the medical connection. If we take chondria, in a modern sense to mean “what we focus upon” Cyberchondria makes sense.

Take care and be happy and whatever your individual chondria try and make it a positive one.

Sean x

222: Sleep – foods that can make it restful?

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As we slip into autumn and winter approaches, as the seasons change so do our circadian body rhythms and for many that will mean a change in both our eating and sleeping pattern. Just as with jet lag our bodies need to adjust to this seasonal change in light and temperature and the shortened length of light in the day. In some jobs this will mean going into work in the dark and coming out of work into the dark. The lack of sunlight reduces the level of vitamin D in our system that leads to a drop in the level of serotonin, the happy hormone, in our brains. So, now we have the winter blues and SAD syndrome. Many mammals, at this time of year, choose to hibernate, to go to sleep and wait it out until the spring and the increased sunlight. But we, rightly or wrongly, just keep going. At a point where we should probably be doing less, resting more and huddling by the fire we continue those twelve hour shifts. In reality we need more sleep in the dark months, usually much more than we allow ourselves to have. In recent years with the development of neuropsychology we understand more and more the importance of sleep to our emotional and psychological health. So, what can we do to improve the sleep that we do have and minimise the possibility of the blues or depression?

(well worth a read)

Foods that inhibit good sleep

Caffeine, in all it’s forms from fizzy drinks to coffee and even tea, has a half-life of 5 hours: which means that 10 hours after drinking your coffee, 25% left in your system; and 20 hours later 12.5% of the caffeine still remains. And, we wonder why caffeine can be so addictive. So, while an early afternoon coffee as a post-lunch pick-me-up may seem like a good idea, it might be what is keeping you up at night.

1: Reduce your intake of caffeine

Alcohol is Britains favourite relaxant. Many people, at the end of a hard day go home and pop a cork as compensation and when they have had a good day they go home and pop a cork as a point of celebration. Either way it still affects our sleep. It may make us drowsy but the sleep that we do have becomes disturbed and we can wake feeling more tired than when we went to bed.

2: Limit your alcohol intake and when you do drink observe the affect that it has on your sleep and you performance on the next day

Chocolate, particularly dark chocolate, can contain high levels of caffeine and thus needs to be treated similarly to coffee and other caffeinated beverages. How many people believe that a nice hot chocolate before bed will improve their sleep? Well, actually it makes it worse. If you look back to number one you will see that the effects of the chocolate that you consume can be effecting you hours after you have forgotten about it.

3: In general try to avoid chocolate and any kind of sweets in the evening, it will not only improve your sleep but your overall health as well

Spicy Foods: Capsaicin – the molecule which gives your spicy foods that kick – can cause changes in body temperature that can cause a disturbance in your circadian rhythms if consumed late at night. Obviously being hot at night can keep you awake and those effects can be heightened during menstrual cycles and menopause.

4: Avoid hot or spicy foods as an evening meal especially if you have any reflux issues or more general indigestion

High-Refined-Fat-Foods: Ever since I was a child I was told that if I ate cheese at night it would give me nightmares. Well maybe it did not do that but it did disturb my sleep. We all know that certain unhealthy (aka. refined and trans) fats negatively impact our health; but there’s also evidence that they may be keeping you up at night.
Animal studies have shown that high-fat diets are associated with more fragmented sleep, along with excessive daytime sleepiness. Researchers speculate that this may be linked to the neuro-chemical orexin — which plays an integral role in our sleep-wake cycles.

5: Avoid refined fats and that includes fast food, but if you must do it during the day

Foods that promote good sleep

Magnesium and potassium: One of the symptoms of magnesium deficiency is insomnia, so you’ll want to load up on healthy sources of this mineral such as leafy greens, beans and lentils, and bananas. Magnesium and potassium promote muscle relaxation, and thus not only help you feel more comfortable but can help deal with nighttime leg cramps. Other foods in the category include potatoes, squash, yoghurt, fish, avocados and mushrooms.

1: If you want to snack in the evening try eating a banana

Tryptophan is an amino-acid found in both animal and plant proteins. Our bodies use tryptophan to create serotonin, a neurotransmitter involved in both mood regulation and sleep.

Many foods are great natural sources of tryptophan, such as milk, bananas, peanut butter and walnuts. Now, I don’t drink dairy milk but nut milks are a fabulous substitute.

2: Milk, milk substitutes and foods containing Tryptophan will enhance your sleep

B vitamins are essential for both the synthesis and release of certain neurotransmitters and hormones in your brain that are part of the sleep-wake cycle: these include serotonin and melatonin.
Supplements are often prescribed to treat conditions such as restless leg syndrome, a nighttime movement disorder which significantly disrupts sleep.

However, if your diet is right there’s no need to take a supplement. You can get your fill from legumes (chick peas), dark green vegetables, whole grains and fish.

3: Review your diet and check that your vitamin B requirements are being met

Theanine is yet another useful amino acid when it comes to treating sleep disorders. Research has shown that administering a theanine supplement improves sleep quality and increases sleep efficiency, while decreasing nighttime awakenings.
There is one superfood packed with theanine: Green tea. However, while green tea has significantly less caffeine than a cup of tea, it is recommended to opt for the decaffeinated kind if your goal is a good night’s sleep.

4: Green tea has many benefits

If you have ever had jet lag it is your melatonin that has gone out of sync. It is naturally produced by your pineal gland under direction of your circadian rhythms and is what makes us feel sleepy as we near bedtime. It usually begins to release around 9 p.m. and remains at a high level for the next 12 hours, throughout the night into the next morning.

While there are certain foods that contain melatonin, you can also purchase this essential sleep-inducing hormone in capsules in the USA at your local pharmacy or health food store and may also be available in the UK. Taken at the right time of day, and in the right dosage, melatonin supplements can help reset your biological clock to optimal levels and is often used as a natural treatment for sleep disorders.
However, you don’t need to take supplements: simply add tart fruits, like cherries and pineapples, to your diet. Oats, walnuts and bananas are likewise great natural sources of melatonin.

5: Adding tart fruits and some nuts to your diet will improve your sleep

Be mindful in what you choose and fingers crossed a good nights sleep and sweet dreams will follow.

Take care

Sean x

Healthy ways to deal with stress

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In a world where at least 60% of people suffer anxiety, 45% report being stressed and 45 million working days are lost each year to stress and anxiety, we just might consider doing something about it. Beyond taking medication we can all learn to moderate our anxiety and stress in healthy ways.

Live In The Present.
It has to start here because in the now, in the moment, there is no depression, no anxiety and nothing to worry about. Let go of what was and do not worry about what will be. All the suggestions below will enhance your ability to be in the moment not in a depressive past or an anxious future. They are all also ways of increasing the happy endorphins in your brain which also has the effect of keeping you younger for longer.

Use the time that you do have in non-stressful ways.
How long does it take you to get to work? On that journey are you living in the present being relaxed and easy with yourself or are you winding up for a difficult day? How about you use that time to listen to music, and audio book or if you are on public transport, actually read a book.

Mindful meditation.
Just 10 minutes a day of focused mindful quiet time can change your life. It is the practice application of living in the present. The ten minutes begins to seep into the rest of your day calming and relaxing your life.

Relaxing pastimes and hobbies
Painting a picture, cooking a meal, knitting a jumper, the list becomes endless. When you focus on a project, whatever it is, your ability to worry becomes diminished as you focus into the moment.

Doing good things for others
Doing things that make other people happy has the magic effect of making you feel better and increasing the happy endorphins in your brain. It might just be making someone a cup of coffee or helping an older person carry their shopping, a good turn to others is a good turn for yourself.

Leave work at work
In occupational health we talk a lot about work life balance. The evening review, in the mindfulness toolkit, stops the negative issues of work spilling over into home life. End you work day positively and leave the stress of work at work.

Get physical
If you raise your heart rate for as little as twenty minutes, your brain will respond by releasing a wave of happy hormones. It doesn’t need to be in a gym, a short run or a brisk walk will do the trick. It will also keep your musculoskeletal and cardiovascular systems in order.

Animal love
Not for everyone but having a pet, usually a cat or a dog is a fabulous way to reduce anxiety and stress. Having another being to look after can create a meaningful sense of purpose. The act of stroking or petting can reduce blood pressure and calm your system and the added need to walk your dog can help with your physical exercise.

Nobody wants anything and nobody needs anything
Taking time out just for you. Sometime that is all about you. What you need and what you want to do. It could be a hobby, it could be a Zumba class or a bath with candles and music. When did you last do something just for you?

Stress is in the eye of the beholder
The psychological concept is that “thoughts become things”, “the things that you think about you bring about” means that what you focus on will get ever bigger in your conscious awareness, “what you feed grows and what you starve dies”. In neuropsychology we know that for most of us the ability to be happy or depressed, stressed or relaxed, anxious or calm, is a choice. We choose what we focus on every moment of everyday. If we feed good thoughts we have good experiences and if we feed bad thoughts we have negative experiences. It is our choice.

Make your choices today, ones of calm relaxed happiness.

Take care

Sean x

A watched pot never boils

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We think of time as a set structural thing and yet our experience of time is really emotional. When you are in a meeting or a presentation and the speaker is uninspiring flat and boring time just seems to drag. Every time that you look at your watch it seems that little or no time has passed.

When I began meditation I started doing three minute sessions. Making the jumps to five and ten minute sessions was like climbing a mountain. Yet now I happily sit for an hour and sometimes it feels like I am only just getting into it and the time is up. I have also noticed that when I am going somewhere it always feels longer than when I am going home, strange!

Time is attached to personality or chakra types.

Mulladhara or physical type personalities live with the physical processes of their body. These happen very quickly as nerves fire off and endorphins are pumped into the system. The rods and cones in your eyes, the light sensors, are firing in milliseconds. People that live in this physical world tend to be quick, have problems staying still and want to be continually on the go. They never sit down for long and office jobs or watching the telly can bore them rigid. These people tend to get impatient, want it now and often have a short fuse.

Svadisthana or social, sensual types enjoy the time of anticipation. Were as the physical type can be too impatient to enjoy foreplay or the anticipation of an appetiser, they want the main course right now, the social type enjoys it. The preparation may be more enjoyable than the main course. These social types can be a little ambitious and want the future in the present. We call this credit and for many social types credit is there best friend. In Britain we call this keeping up- with the Jones’s.

Manipura or intellectual types can be curious. They make really good researchers and scientists, writers and reporters. They can have the dogged determination to stick on the trail like a dog with a bone. In this sense time can begin to spread out waiting for the answer or the result. Sometimes these types can suffer early onset boredom and then they will seek stimulation elsewhere. As long as they remain intellectually engaged they will stay on the case.

Anhatta or emotional types have the patience to get what they want. For them time can be very long often in terms of holding on to hurt, they do not forgive easily. They may smile at you but they do not forget. If you have crossed an anhatta they will never forget and will enjoy their revenge at a time of their choosing in the future. It does work the other way as well. If you have looked after an anhatta they will never forget that and they will look after you in return. The negative side is vendetta and mafioso.

Vishuddhi is the passed. The world of tradition and custom is there’s and that goes back as far as can be remembered or was recorded. ‘We have always done it this way’ is their phrase. Change and uncertainty scare them. They need to now where they stand and how long it will take. Because they have long memories they will hold you to your word, your promise and your commitment. Very long memory.

Ajna is the future, the vision the dream. In this world on intuition and universal connectedness time is eternal, there is no beginning, there is no end. The experience of time can be see as so great that may be counted in epics, eras, life times and incarnation. For many Ajnas the issues that we face today may have there roots in several lifetimes ago. Yet always the ajna looks to the future as either a vision or a dream, the world of will be, of what we could do, how we could make it better.

Sahasara is pure imagination. Sahasara are the image makers the creative geniuses and the artists. The images shared by Sahasara can be so vivid and so inspirational that thousands of years after their deaths people still read their words and follow their teachings and revere them as deities. Sahasara time is measured in the memory that is passed from one generation to the next.

For us all, we live in our own time world that is peculiar to us. One thing that we do know is that when we are bored time goes so slowly and when we are enjoying ourselves time flies by.

Perhaps our choice is to have the experience of a long and boring life or a quick and happy one. I’m in for the happy ride.

Take care and observe your experience of time.

Sean x

How to communicate effectively

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I love it when people talk about communication, they usually mean communications. Communications refers to media, broadcasting and the transfer of information. Many of us believe that when we have transmitted our message that we have communicated. Say, a boss goes into an office and barks demands, instructions and leaves believing that they have just communicated. How do they know what their staff actually heard, what they meant? This is the point. We believe that because we have said something that the person that we said it to has understood what we mean. This is how miss communication occurs.

I once ran a self development centre called ‘The Centre For Human Communication’. Despite the fact that we ran courses on yoga, meditation and self development people often thought that we were something to do with the telephone service. The difference between communication and communications. The role of coms in business is well known as the person running the publicity and media systems.

The coms operator does not have a clear way of understanding whether or not what they meant to convey in their coms was received by the recipients.

A word is like a train carriage and the people that the word travels to are like stations on the railway line. As the train carriage moves from one station to another people get in and people get out. Sometimes there will be a bicycle or a dog or two in the carriage and, on rare occasions the carriage will be completely empty while other times bursting at the seams. The carriage may look the same on the outside but the contents changes all the time.

Words are just like that. They are mental and emotional railway carriages. As a word moves from you to another person it’s meaning will change. Just like the carriage the word looks the same, it may be written the same but the content, the meaning, is changed. The meaning that is put on the word, it contents, is provided not so much by you the sender but by the person that receives it, that hears it.

The meaning of a word or phrase, it’s contents, maybe cultural, coloquiall, familial, or experiential. Either way it will be peculiar to us. If I say ‘I love you’ what do you hear? What do I mean by love? It might mean anything from I want to marry you, be your friend, take you as a lover, or whatever it means when you say it or you hear it. You might get the idea that communication in the real sense is actually quite difficult.

The meaning of communication

The literal meaning of the word communication is common union or to be at one with, or in the same place. When I say something and you hear what I mean then we have communicated. If I say something and you interpret it into your meaning we have miscommunicated. The art of advertising is this very thing. The coms person has to impart the message in such a way that the customer receives the message.

This takes us to the hub of communication. The majority of what we communicate is not in the word. With different research the percentages vary but it goes something like this. About 52% of the meaning is in our body language, facial expression and stance, about 36% is in the tone of our voice. Around 3% is in the volume and 2% in pheromones. It is only around 7% that is in the literal meaning of the words. This makes texts and the written word the worst forms of communication that we use.

Imagine when you read a book. In your mind, in your imagination you are creating the characters and what they look like. Then someone makes a film of the book and in your mind they completely got it wrong because the meaning that they put on the word in the book is different to yours. As we say, ‘a picture tells a thousand word’.

What do you hear if I say ‘he went nose to nose with me’? Well where I come from that would mean we went face to face or he squared up to me in an act of aggression. Well, in Arabic cultures, when males meet, they do a side on hand shake, pull into each other and tap their noses together twice. To say ‘we went nose to nose’ is either an act of love or an act of aggression depending on where you come from.

The only way that you will ever know what someone means is to ask them, ‘when you said that I heard….., is that what you meant?’ Or ‘when I said …. What did you hear?’

Communication is a tricky business. Miscommunication is probably the root of most problems at an individual and a global scale. Likewise, communication is probably the resolution of most of our problems. The magic is that when we truly communicate, when we are in the same place we begin to see the other person as ourself as though we are one.

When I say, ‘if we all look after each other we will all be okay’, I guess that in part I am saying that if we communicated we would all be ok.

Hey ho, keep talking but do it mindfully and try to communicate.

Take care

Sean x

How to Have the Perfect Holiday

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Wow!, it’s the summer. We generally are hoping that it is hot, but not too hot!

In the colder climates of Northern Europe people are heading south to the sun. Topping up their vitamin D and replenishing their energy before the darkness and the cold of the winter to come. In the hotter humid climates of the Middle East people are heading north to cool down a bit. Turning their back on the sun and the humidity. I only realised recently that people from the Middle East suffer similar vitamin D deficiency to those people in Europe. In Europe there is either not enough sun or people are smothering themselves in suntan lotion to avoid getting burned or developing skin cancer. In the Middle East it can be so hot and humid that people stay indoors enjoying the coolness of the air conditioning and avoid going out in the open. The result in vitamin D loss is the same.

The adaptability of human beings is truly amazing. We have been able to make a life in the frozen wastes of the north and the sun scorched deserts of the equator. Yet, wherever we live we crave the difference of being somewhere else, to get away to take a holiday. Holidays come in two main types. There are those that need to simply get away from something, taking a break or chilling. Then there are those who need to be doing something and take the activity holiday.

Whether your holiday is a stop and chill or a start and do event, what is it that makes a holiday happy for you?

For some couples, the pressure of being together for a long period can prove to be too much and arguments ensue and in extreme cases they can split. The same thing happens just after Christmas in the New Year. But, I digress.

What is your ideal holiday?

For me it is the Italian art of doing nothing and, the place that I prefer to do nothing in is, of course, Italy, “La Dolce Far Niente”. My life is intense and sometimes extreme when I travel for work the reality of being on the plane for a few hours is a welcome oasis of stillness in the everyday madness of life it is my dolce far niente. When I go on holiday that sense of nobody needs anything and nobody wants anything is magical. If I am honest I do not need to leave my house to do that. A chill day in the house can, for me, be a holiday.

But such stopping is not easy for everyone.

There are many people who do not know where their off button is so that everyday becomes a list of things to be achieved. Even the act of exercising becomes another task on the list to be ticked off. The art of being able to simple sit and be, “La Dolce Far Niente”, perhaps with a meal, as a couple, as a family, as a group of friends and to genuinely do nothing and genuinely feel that you allowed to do nothing is becoming a lost art. I see so many people in various organisations who have forgotten how to stop. Perhaps we should change the concept of ‘work hard play hard’ to…

Work hard, but know when to stop

We say that one person’s meat is another person’s poison. We could say that one person’s holiday is another person’s nightmare.

The one thing we do know is that when we take a break that is good for us and feeds our individual needs it has a positive effect on our system right down to the cellular level, reducing stress hormones, blood pressure, anxiety and so on. It is important that you take a break that will work well for you. But the most important thing is that you take a break and give yourself the value of being important enough to look after.

Wherever you go and whatever you do this summer, be happy and enjoy it.

Take care

Sean x