Setting Secure Boundaries

Lately the international news has been full of stories of inappropriate touching kissing, and so on, in a variety of areas from sport to politics. The implication is that we either no longer have a clear idea of what our boundaries are or that our attitude to boundaries is changing. We are living in a world of change. It could that this is the reality of the end of the age of Pisces the beginning of the age of Aquarius. Or it could simply be that we are waking up a bit as in the evolution of human consciousness.

As a society we are currently reviewing our relationships to gender, orientation, ethnicity and attitudes. To have a clear boundary in any of our relationships we need to have a clear image and understanding of our fundamental relationship and that is the one that we have with ourself. Our approach to all our relationships begins with the approach that we have with our self.

‘I love me’ is not a statement of arrogance it is a statement of self esteem. To ensure that people give us value we must give ourself value. If I value me then I will ensure that you value me. If I feel that I have no value then I can accept any negative treatment that you throw at me.

Arrogance is when I see myself as better than others. Self esteem gives me the ability to value me as well as valuing you. If we all has self esteem we could all look after each other. So, I believe that the way to create positive boundaries with other people begins with creating positive self esteem. Charity begins at home.

Of coursed we need to put some effort into understanding other people. We need tolerance, empathy and insight. Most of all we need kindness and care. However it only works when we apply all these things to ourself.

My bid is that we attend to ourself first then attend to others. The easiest way to achieve this is what we are now calling mindfulness.

In short, if you want to change the world then love yourself.

Take care

Sean x