Letting go of the past

In modern psychology we talk a lot about living in the present, letting go of what has been and c relating the future that we want to live. The reality for us all is that you cannot get into you or present and create a new future if you are weighed down and hampered by unresolved past. In order that we are able to move on into a new future, that is not hampered by the weight of the unresolved past, we often need to do an internal audit of stock take at this time. Even that sounds easier than it is. Let’s have quick review of what we mean by past, present and future.

The Past

The past can seem solid. It is what has happened and we hold it in our memory to explain who we are and what we are like we are. You could say that we are all the sum total of what we have learned from all the things that we have experienced in our life. In this life time it would be from the moment that we drew our first breath. I guess we would need to add in some genetic and social information from the family that we have been born into. 

Karmas

The word karma simply means the consequence of action. Everything that we do has an effect, we are that effect. Karma is simply the consequence it neither good nor bad.

Samskars

For those the believe in reincarnation a samskar is a karma that has been carried over from a previous life time. If this is true and we have had many life time we may be carrying unresolved issues from the past.

The Present

We talk about the present as being something solid. ‘Be in the present we say’, ‘Be here now’. Actually the present is so transitory that it hardly exists. As soon as you read the previous sentence it became the past. The present lasts a millionth of a nano second then it becomes part of the past.

Becoming

Quantum physics suggests that we should view the present as a state of becoming. That is what we are doing now is creating a consequence or karma that is our future. It is perfectly possible to live in the present and many people do but they see it as a fluid state in motion not as a fixed event.

The Future

From our point of view the future does not exist until we create it. We are also at becoming what we will be. Just as I am the result of all that I have done in the past, I will

become the sum total of all that I am doing now. I am creating my future.

The Anatomy Of The Past

Memory has three components that need to be processed for us to move beyond the ties that bind us to the past. These are thinking, doing, and feeling.

Thinking

Thought and cognition are structural concepts. When it comes to memory these are the bones that support the memory. They are factual and descriptive and very black and white. They are the description of what took place.

Doing

This the physical effect of the memory. It may appear as pain in the body or feelings of discomfort. It could be in muscle memory in a skill or set of actions. Or it could simply be a habit. When we have a habit we often say ‘that’s just the way that I am’. It is never that, it is a case of that is how I learned to be and the magic is we can relearn and change if we want to.

Feeling

This is the real issue. Both thinking and doing have no side. They are simply the descriptive and physical response to events. The glue that keeps us trapped in our past is our emotions. Emotions are the glue and the energy that keeps a karma in place. We do not realise it but we have control over our emotions. We can hold onto them or we can let them go, we can change them.

Unlike thinking and doing the key to emotion is the pictures. If I ask you to think about your last holiday what appears in your consciousness are the images, either as stills or as movies of the events that took place. With those images comes emotional connections. This is the glue that keeps us attached to the past either positive or negative. If we have unresolved emotions about a person or an event and we review them all the feeling come porting back as we review the pictures.

A picture tells a thousand words

Dissolving emotional bonds

We are all processing and dissolving negative emotional bonds all the time, we do it every day. It is the big ones that we get stuck on. There are several processes that can enhance our ability to dissolve these bonds.

Mindfulness

In practising mindfulness we focus on becoming what will happen next and not on

regurgitating unresolved past. It is alway true with the mind that…

…thoughts become things. What we think about we bring about.

Forgiveness

This is the LITP step one. It involves visualising this things that you have problems with and processing the emotions so that they gradually become desensitised. When emotions are desensitised you are able to review the memory without becoming emotionally aroused. You can never change the structural cognitive memory or the body memory but you can change how you feel about it.

Psychotherapy 

When we get stuck we sometimes need another voice or point of view. We need to see a new perspective. In good psychotherapy this is what happens. In collective therapeutic relations we find effective way to move on.

Rewinding

This is an analytical hypnotherapy technique. It is very powerful when working with trauma, deep trauma, abuse, PTSD and CPTSD.

We only carry the past with us through our own choice. Once we decide to put it down we are lighter, happier and able to move forward.

Take care and be happy

Sean x