I guess that it had to happen. The movie industry has hit another all time low and, we now have Fifty Shades the movie. I decided that it was timely to revisit the blog that I wrote at the time of the publication of the first book and reading the movie reviews it would seem that the movie would appear to be as bad as the book, hey ho, and two more to come, goodie.
Fifty Shades has a Facebook page that shows nine million likes and that makes me, and my views on Tantra, Sex, Orgasm and Meditation at least, a potential minority. My books, courses and therapy are all about people discovering themselves in the most positive way.
My working world encompasses therapy for those who are both the subject of sexual abuse and domestic violence, as well as dealing with the perpetrators. The victims are mainly women though men are also victims of sexual abuse and violence. Just as the perpetrators are mainly men, women can also be violent and sexual abusers.
For me Fifty Shades asks us all a question – “What is it that turns you on?” From where I see it we seem to be at a point in the evolution of human consciousness where we are confused between eroticism, violence and love. The neurological issue is that the centres in the brain that are activated by pleasure are also those that are activated by pain and here the confusion begins. Unless you are awake to the inner workings of your mind/brain you can create unhappiness for your self and for others.
Inside your mind/brain there are a millions of concepts. A concept is like a box full of information. It is your internal collection of facts and ideas, normally termed a paradigm that enables you to explain to yourself what you experience in the world, these are termed our percepts.
The law of perception is that you cannot have a percept without a concept. So in your head there is a dog box (Concept) that contains all that you have learned about dogs. When you see a dog (Percept) you can look in the dog box and know that what you are experiencing is a dog. You know it is not a cat because it doesn’t fit into your cat box.
Among all the concept boxes that you have there is your sex box. What is in your box? Let us say that in your experience rice pudding becomes a part of your sexual experience you may find that rice pudding has slipped into your sex box(Concept) so that you cannot feel sexy or become eroticised unless rice pudding is involved in the act (Percept).
When people attend psychotherapy the work is about removing unwanted things from concept boxes or putting missing items in. This maybe more obvious in the common problems of stress, confidence, phobias and so on, it is commonly true of your sex box.
It would seem that according to 50 shades, many people have violence, domination and submission in their sex box, nine million at least, according to Facebook!
As a therapist I would say that if you are turned on by 50 shades have a look in your own sex box and ask yourself why? If you need to dominate others why is this, where did it come from? You certainly did not come out of the womb that way, you learned that behaviour and pleasure. In the same way if you need to be sexually or physically dominated and become submissive, or if violence is related to you satisfying your sexuality, from my point of view, you probably have a problem. Perhaps a few sessions of psychotherapy would help you resolve what is, really, a disorder.
As far as the movie goes the reviews would suggest that it is as badly written, boring and wooden as the original book.