Here are two principles that stop us moving forward. The first is wanting or needing to change other people. The second is to be angry with, or about things that we cannot change. Both of these will create feelings of frustration and often resentment that will keep us locked into negative mind states forever. The Serenity Prayer explains this perfectly.
Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
This works both, with yourself and with other people. You can spend a whole lifetime trying to change other people. Also you can spend a whole life time trying to be what you think is expected of you. One key to happiness is in allowing other people to be what they need to be until, they learn from their mistakes and choose to change. Also in allowing you to be yourself.
People pleasing behaviours to others often lead to us living a lie and being dishonest with our self and about our needs. If this behaviour becomes negatively embedded then the danger is that we take on the role of a martyr.
Self pleasing behaviours can be equally dishonest. I have worked with many people who have had corrective surgery, perhaps a face lift, or some eye work, who sink into depression because the idea of self pleasing involved changing the outer appearance not the inner feelings. The same can be true of those that spend a fortune on clothes, accessories, car, decor and other accessorising. Feeling better comes from changing from the inside out never from the outside in.
However, when we embrace the law of allowing we often discover that there is very little that needs to be changed. In allowing the world to be what it is, we can be grateful for what we have and for what we are. This makes happiness so much more accessible.
Live in the present, allow other people to be what they need to be and be yourself.