Did you really just say that?

With Covid and related stresses I notice that fuses are getting shorter and intolerance is on the increase. 

Do you listen to what you say? Do you hear the tone of your voice? Do you realise how you are heard by others? I guess if your answer to these questions was ‘no’ then you would probably not be reading this blog. However, becoming really aware of what is coming out of our mouths is an art and requires awareness and awake-ness.

You only need to stand in a bus queue, sit in a coffee lounge to canteen and listen the voices around you to realise where people hold their consciousness. Sadly you will discover that the majority of what people are saying is negative or the tone that they are using is negative. There are many reasons people are talking the way that they are but the bottom line is usually that the majority of people hold negative images and beliefs about themselves, life and about others. In current Covid fun this tendency is magnified.

From being children we have learned all that we know from what we heard and what we saw. In the beginning this was from our mother and our father and that went on to become our siblings, teachers, cultures and nationalities and so on. And we have gone on repeating all that we have learned again and again and again until we believe it to be the truth. We the reinforce this because we hear what what we say and this strengthens our basic beliefs. If you see negative things in other people and you verbalise your negative thought you will hear those negative thoughts and simply continue to have more negative thoughts. These create more and more negative feelings.

You will never find happiness or contentment 

while you have negative thoughts about other people 

The two things can never go together. If you think or say anything negative about another person, and you hear what you have just said, you have simply added another little pebble to the negative mountain inside you.  If on the other hand you have a positive thought or say something positive about another person it is as though you have just taken a little pebble off the negative mountain. Many positive thoughts will rid you of the burden of negativity that you carry around with you. It is important to remember that you may also be saying and feeling negative things about yourself. The more you do this the harder it is to have positive self esteem.

You can always tell negative people because they find it hard to say anything that is positive. If it sunny they will be expecting rain, if it is raining they will be expecting a flood. They will suffer illnesses, bad luck and assume, in someway, that the universe is out to get them, they may also feel that people don’t like them and become distrustful.

Thoughts become things

The magic of thoughts is that they precede the words. When you think a thought you do not need to say it out load for it to have its effect. If you have good thoughts you will taking the pebbles away from the negative mountain and lightening your load. If on the other hand you spend your time ruminating on negative thoughts you will simply add to the negative mountain and the burden that you are carrying. 

There are particular words that add greatly to the negative mountain. These will include most swear words and profanities. The word ‘can’t’ should be banned completely because if you say hat you can’t you hear it and it is a done deal. If you say “I can’t do that” then you are right you can’t do it. 

The other words that do not serve us well are ‘ought’, ‘should’ and ‘must’. The only reason we ever need to act is because we want or desire to do something. There is nothing that we ought to do, there is nothing that should do and, there is nothing that we must do. The only relevant action is that of free choice.

Just as you hear what you say other people hear what you say. When you are negative with there people you simply are adding to the negative mountain within them. When you act with kindness and love you are lightening their load. In all forms of therapy and healing it is the acceptance by the therapist with unconditional positive regard of the person that they are working with that does the healing. 

When we use thoughts and words that treat us with unconditional positive regard we feed ourself with the highest positive emotions, we develop self confidence, happiness and love. We allow ourself to enjoy the magic of being alive.

But the world is full of choices. Listen to yourself. If what you are saying makes you feel good then, say more of it. If, on the other hand, it make you feel not so good, then change your script. And remember that we all effect our children because they are listening to what we say and observing how we act.

In this time of Covid as we approach the joy of Christmas be happy and love what comes out of your mouth, a if you don’t love it change it. 

Sean x 

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