Live in the present
Well, we have done it. This is the introduction to the course “Live In the present” that I have run for many years with my lovely wife Rie, my amazing business partner Ed and some lovely helpers, David, Sharon and Dafydd. Happy times and good sessions.
The course grew out of my experience working with clients who were attempting to change their live to find the fulfilment that the they really wanted but were hitting the emotional blocks, that we all have, and stop us growing as people.
If you come on this journey with us and complete the ten steps, that will be available over the next ten weeks, you will change your life forever and you may actually achieve all that you want from your life. The thing is that we need to get on with it now! But as the warning in the book says to change you actually have to do and complete the tasks suggested. If you continue too do the same things in the same ways nothing will ever be any different.
For most of us change is something that is seen as happening in the future. It can seem easier to put off changing, ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’, rather than actually doing it today. Even the idea that I will change in the New Year, or after my next birthday, or when we get back from our holiday, is simply another way of putting off doing something. The reality is that if I want to change I need to do so now.
The power of now
Change can only ever take place in the present. The magic of the present, of the now, is that it is all that ever really exists. And, if we are going to make changes we have to do them now, we cannot change in the past and we cannot change in the future, we can only change NOW!
We avoid living in our present by focussing on the past or the future
Many of us are stuck in the past ruminating on unresolved emotional events, reliving them in the present just as though they were still taking place. This habitual way of thinking is the basis of (non-clinical) depression. People that live in the past cannot move forward because the past holds them back like an anchor.
Many of us will be worrying about the future and things that may never happen, but will be feeling all the worry as though those things are happening right now. This is the basis of anxiety. People that are anxious can never move forward because they are scared of what will happen next. Those of us that have learned to worry about both the past and the future at the same time are suffering from anxious depression.
Ninety days to change
The good news is that we can all change and achieve what we want if we go about in a certain way. And, the second bit of good news is that most people, in most situations, can achieve lasting change in just ninety days, and that includes getting beyond both depression and anxiety.
The thirty day rule
We know from research that everything that we think, feel and do is encoded in our brain as circuits in the neurone and dendrite cells. When we learn a new habit a new circuit is created. This might be from learning to tie a shoe lace, to learning how to moan all the time, or learning to be happy.
Persistence and consistence
We now know that the new circuit will only become established when we practise the new habit consistently and persistently for thirty days. This is crucial. It is like snakes and ladders. If during these first thirty days we missed a day we can slide right back down the snake to step one and need to begin all over again. Most people seeking to change will fail because people will give up on their intent within the thirty day rule and the new habit will never become established in their brain cells and, inevitably they will revert back to their previous habits and behaviours.
The ninety day rule
Research also shows us that if we can remain consistent and persistent about in our new habit it will become embedded in the higher cortex of the brain as long term memory.
If you learned to ride a bike when you were a child, maybe thirty years ago but have not ridden since, once you get on a bike now, you may wobble down the road and then the magic happens as it all comes back to you and off you go.
A learned habit lasts forever
If you complete the ten steps of live in the present and if you apply the ninety day rule change is inevitable and that includes overcoming (non-clinical) depression and anxiety.
In this work that I do with my good friend Ed and my wonderful wife Rie, we have created Live in The Present as a focal point for those seeking to create and maintain real change in their lives. We are putting the course up online together with free access to the book, ‘Live In The Present’, as a manual for those attempting to create lasting change.
Make sure you have signed up for regular updates and together we can make this the year that you changed.