It’s Time You Forgave Yourself

Time to apologise?

In Step one you looked at how you feel about other people and the negative things that they did to you, but what about you? What about those people that you have let down? Do you blame them or yourself? Is it time to acknowledge those negative things that you have done? Is it time to apologise? Let go and move on.

It is so easy to blame other people for your own problems, angers and frustration. Or you can become irritated with people who do not do things the way that you want them to. You may see them as stupid, rude, incompetent, inconsiderate, and so on. But, is the problem theirs or yours?

You can never change other people
The only thing in life that you will ever be able to change is yourself. What other people do, or did, and the reasons why they did it, may only make sense to them but never to you. The outcome of their actions are their responsibility not yours. This is what we call karma, the result of their actions, is their karma.

You have karma as well
Equally, you are, and always will be, responsible for your actions, responses and, also your reactions. This is your karma. Being responsible for yourself means that you are able to let go of your expectations of others, and that you are not hanging onto the outcomes and hopes that you want or desire.

Attachments are fixed connections to past expectations
Cravings are attachments to future expectations

Being attached to, or craving for a desired outcome is a recipe for disappointment that can leave you feeling angry, offended, hurt or, disappointed. The simple truth is that in all of your interactions with others, if you had not had an expectation in the first place you would not have been disappointed.

The other side of the same coin is what did you do to others? I wonder what expectations other people had of you? Did you get it wrong, fail to get it right; were you a disappointment to yourself or to other people?

If you are honest with yourself who is it that you let down or disappointed by your behaviour. Perhaps their expectation of you were that wrong.

If you want to feel different and let go of the past then, perhaps it is time to own up and let go of your negativity.

Blaming yourself may not be that helpful
I don’t like the concepts of fault and blame; they do not really help us very much. I prefer the concept of responsibility that suggests the ability to respond -respondability. If you are responsible for the way that you think, feel, and do, without the need to blame others, you cease to be a victim. Acknowledging the part that you have played of other peoples problems and become the author of your own destiny.

In step two we seek forgiveness for all the negative things that we have done, and did, to other people. None of us are squeaky clean we have all done things that we would need to acknowledge and seek forgiveness.

Complete step two, enjoy your life in the present and be happy

Take care

Sean x

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