“No” is such a negative word. It is short, sharp and creates an ending. When I was trained in the science of Mantra it was suggested that M and N were directly in the middle of the alphabet and that the ‘M’ sound involved closing the mouth and gathering energy in hence the mantric sounds of Om, Aum, Amin and Amen. The “N” sound involves opening the mouth and pushing energy away as in, Negative, Never, Not and NO.
No is the “N” word that should never be used
No, completely shuts down whatever is going on. As soon as we say ‘no’ there is nothing left, no way to move forward, it is a done deal, over and finished. The word ‘No’ ruins relationships, create animosity, starts wars, fights and conflicts.
It could be that the easiest way to say ‘No’ is by saying ‘Yes”
So how do we avoid doing those things that we do not want to do while never saying no?
I would really love to do that for you…
If you ask me to do something for you and I either don’t want to do it or simply don’t have time, I could just say ‘No’, which might lead you to see me as being negative or awkward. If I change that to…
“I would really love to do that for you, I just don’t have the time’
Perhaps it is your manager or employer, who is working you too hard and has unrealistic expectations of just how much you can do…
“I would love to do that for you, which one of these current tasks would you like me to leave so that I can do that one?”
When we do not use the word ‘No’ we are showing willing, remaining positive, always being open, never closing down.
“Which bit of ‘No’ don’t you understand?”
I guess there will be times, in the extreme, when there is ‘No’ option and you may have to follow it with two words of which the second one is ‘off’.
But it is a choice. I have a challenge for you. For the next week listen to what comes out of your mouth and try not to us the word ‘No’. Try and find a positive alternative…
” I’m sure a date with you would be really fun but I don’t think it would really work”
” I know you will find the partner of your dreams, sadly it is not me”
” Thank you for offering me the position, on this occasion I feel I need to decline”
You can have a lot of fun working out ways to not say “No”.
One of the greatest challenges is for parents, especially when a younger child is in the “Why?” phase, or when the children enter adolescents. “No” simply creates conflict. Creatively saying “No” without using the word is an art form.
Take care, be happy and, never say “No”