Archive for year: 2013

We thought we’d give you a bit more insight into the inner workings of Live in the Present over the next few weeks. With that in mind, the three minds behind the organisation will be writing about how they ‘find their present’. Next up, it’s the man himself, our very own Mr Live in the Present, Sean Orford.

Ed suggested to Rie and I that we need to follow his eight ways that he lives in the present with our own, realising that in the busyness of life it’s easy to do things automatically without being mindful of living in the present. So, thanks Ed for the suggestion – it is good to review life.

1: Rie and I
My life is busy. By that I mean often starting work at 7am and finishing at 10pm and that can mean that Rie and I don’t get the time together that we need for us. I love Saturday and Sunday mornings when we have more time to talk, have breakfast together and simply be. The most wonderful time is when we take a break and go away together, magic moments in wonderful places living in the present.

2: Meditation
Everyday I have my own mind/brain space. Sometimes for an hour and sometimes for just a few minutes. In that space all that was and all that will be ceases to exist and all that there is, is the current breath. There are so many people that I have helped me to create this space. Vipassana, a wonderful organisation, Head Space with Andy P, Meditation Oasis with Mary and Richard Maddox and One Moment Meditation with Marty Boroson.

3: My Work
I hadn’t really considered this until now that my work as a psychotherapist requires that I remain present and attentive to the person that I am working with. That sense of being in the moment with another person is both a privilege and a joy.

4: Music
Holding a guitar and allowing whatever needs to, to flow out of my fingers into the strings creates a meditative stillness. The concentration of the moment, the perfection of the sound, the repetition to get the sound right focused in the now so that time passes unseen, magical.

5: Writing
I write books, blogs, posts, articles and songs. When I am writing I like to stand up. The best stuff comes in the flow of movement. To walk away from the keyboard and come back with a phrase or paragraph is being creative in the moment. I try to write as though I am talking to the reader, as though we are having a conversation just the two of us. So, while I am writing I say it out loud and play with it until it sounds right.

6: Making Bread
I cook. I like to cook. I love to cook for others. People that visit our house get fed. Some say I am a ‘feeder’. I believe that the sharing of food in the sharing of love. The process of cooking happens in the moment. To take a sauce and add ingredients tasting at each stage as the flavours develop and change is amazing. And bread? The simple mixing of flour water and yeast and then there is bread. I also like the idea of eating with my eyes before the food hits my mouth so that I have gratitude for my food and also the people who did what ever they did to get it onto my plate from farmer to chef.

7: Exercise
This has to follow food. We all, and me especially, sit down too much everyday. It is really a hazard of being a psychotherapist. Rie has just played a TED recording about how sitting down is becoming our biggest killer through cancer and bowel problems. Time to get off my butt more often I think. I manage a twenty minute walk most lunch times. When I am in the hospital it is in the woods of the park next to the car park. I have a call to action here. I need more exercise. When I walk I love the smells and sounds and the different scenes at different times of the year.

8: People
I am endlessly fascinated by people and how they tick, I mean everyone. If I am in a queue for any length of time I get to know the people around me. I smile at people in the street and engage with anyone at any time on any topic. I go out of my way to thank people for what they have done for me and will do anything that I can to help them. I have always had this mad idea that if we all live in the now and look after each other we can have heaven on earth.

Thanks Ed for the suggestion, it is good to have done the review. It left me feeling that most of the time I am in different ways in my present and that feels good.

Sean x

How many self help books have you read? How many do you own?

The other day I was having a chat with a friend. She raised one problem after another and I said, “have you read …?”

“Oh Yes” she says, “I’ve had that book for years”.

“But have you actually read it?” I said,

“Well, bits of it” she replied.

I have met so many people who have every self help book under the sun, their shelves are lined with them. All of the usual suspects are there: Susan Jeffers, Louise Hay, John Graham, Rhonda Byrne, Joe Vitale, Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, Gay Hendricks, Harv Eker… I wander over to the CD/DVD rack and there they all are in audio. “Have you listened to these?” “Well…!”

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions then the road to self discovery would seem to be paved with unread self help books (plus a smattering of audio books too).

I know lots of people who collect books on self help but never read them. Perhaps they buy one, flick through it and then put it to one side with the intention of coming back to it, but never do. They then wonder why nothing ever changes. These people appear to buy books in the same way that I’ll tend to join the gym. Good intentions.

A few years ago Rie and I bought a membership to a gym. They were doing one of those special offers for health workers. Like most people we went for a while and then i started using the usual excuse of being too busy and I gradually stopped going. Well, not quite, I did drop in on occasions with Rie, or for coffee, or to use the loo every now and then. It became the most expensive toilet I have ever used. We did eventually cancel the membership, but for a while it was as though the mere act of paying the subscription, or the knowledge that we were members, would in some strange way make us fit and healthy.

I think the same thing happens to people with self help books. There is some strange belief that mere ownership of the book, the fact that it is on display in the bookcase for all to see will, in some strange way, fill them with the knowledge from within the pages without them ever needing to read the words. It is as though there must be some form of spiritual osmosis that will transfer the lessons and the knowledge from the book to the mind.

I know people that will carry a book with them in their bag with the full intention of reading it when they are on transport or on a lunch or tea break. They may carry it for weeks, or even months, without ever opening it though the intention is there.

When you do actually make the space and take the time to read the ideas in any self help book they will, almost certainly, help you. They will make you think about things from another point of view and give you ideas, enable you to see the everyday issues from another angle and, direct you towards resources and services that may even change your life forever. Better still, read them over and over and the ideas within will seep into your mind and have a far better chance of sticking.

A Book is a Seed

The ideas in a book are like seeds. Ideas will grow in the creative recesses of your mind if you allow them to be planted there. The trick is that if you want the book to help you, you will need to read it, perhaps many times. All self help books should carry a disclaimer that states clearly that the contents of the book will only work if you read it. There should also be the proviso that you may need to read the same book again and again to allow the concepts to sink in. The point in the re-reading is not that the book changes, it will always stay the same. However, as you change and develop your understanding of what you are reading will be changing, so that you will see things in a re-read that you did not see the first time around.

Our self help book ‘Live In The Present‘ carries the following disclaimer…

It should be noted that there is no magic trick that will change your life for the better.

It is only through your CONSISTENT and PERSISTENT REPETITION of the theories taught within this book that you will achieve your aims.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s get on with the job of finding true bliss for every living thing on Earth.

If you have invested your money in some self help books you will benefit even more from also investing some of your time in reading them. You will get even more benefit by investing some time in carrying out the ideas in the books that will change your everyday life.

Live in the present, be happy and read it don’t leave it

With love,
Sean x