TSHP013 – Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?

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Note from Ed: We ran over a little bit this week – Sean and Ed just couldn’t shut up! Apologies to all who are used to listening on their 30 minutes commute to work! That said, we’ve had a lot of feedback that people would like the show to be longer. Let us know if you agree! 

What’s Coming This Episode?

Let’s be clear from the start: 100% honesty is, thank goodness, completely impossible. Ed starts the debate in typically intellectual fashion by talking about the big budget Jim Carrey movie ‘Liar, Liar’. Being honest 100% of the time will land you in a whole lot of trouble in minutes. From a very early age we test the boundaries of what can and can’t be said, eg. ‘where’s your big fat belly?’ (this will make sense, we promise).

Be sure to check out Ed’s Jack Nicholson impression.

Sean is busy building his loft conversion / recording studio. He’s set himself a TWO MONTH deadline to complete this and we implore all of our loyal listeners to hold him to this. Ed has been out racing his kart again. Joy of joys.

In other news, in turns out that celebrity TV chefs may be way off the mark when it comes to the nutritional excellence of their food. Shock! Horror! Ed is only too happy to talk about a clever chap called Jacque Fresco, the 97 year old visionary and architect. Be sure to look up The Venus Project.

Enjoy the show 🙂

Show Notes and Links

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Depression. A Key To Happiness?

Do you or anyone that you know suffer or suffered from depression or anxiety? If so, do you know what the underlying symptoms are?

The use of medication, to reduce anxiety and to lift depression, has become common place to the point where many of them are in our supply of drinking water. These come from either people flushing unwanted medication down the toilet or the natural excretion of the medications in our urine.

In the UK we currently write some 46 million prescriptions a year for antidepressants. Is all this medication really needed?

With both anxiety and depression we need to take into account the ‘clinical’ aspects and the psychological aspects. To be clinically depressed or anxious means that the body chemistry is mis-functioning. Just as when the pancreas is not working properly and we would take insulin to balance the system or with the thyroid when we correct the imbalance with thyroxin. The same is also true with depression so that in the brain, at the pituitary end of things, we may need to regulate levels of serotonin chemically. When depression is not clinical it is described as ‘reactive’.

Reactive Symptoms

Having made that distinction, the levels of clinical depression are relatively low. The vast majority of depressions are reactive. This means that an experience or an event has created a chain of reactions that have led to the development of symptoms that can, if not treated by psychotherapy, become the learned habits that eventually are described as our behaviour. People say to me “it’s just the way I am” and I say “no, it is how you have learned to be”.

Reactive Anxiety

In anxiety we are projecting forward into images and ideas of a negative future that may never happen and living those idea in the present as though they are happening right now. This means that we imagine a negative scenario and our body systems act out the images as though they are happening in the present. Our body chemistry, fight and flight endorphins, are firing off into our blood stream to face a foe, or situation that does not and may never exist.

Reactive Depression

Unlike anxiety, that looks forwards, depression looks backwards, replaying past events in the present as though they are still happening now. Where as anxiety powers up our chemical system, depression, as the name implies, depresses our chemical system and we become flat and inert. In depression our energy levels drop and we do less and less. Often we find the need to withdraw from the world and we can easily become agoraphobic.

What is depression telling us?

Needless to say happiness and depression do not generally go together. And yet, it could be that, depression may just be something that we should celebrate! If we look behind the depression what is depression telling us?

In the eastern approaches to psychotherapy depression is not always seen as something to be avoided or masked with medication. Rather it is seen as a sign that something in our life is wrong or out of balance. If used creatively depression can be a time of review and re-evaluation when we are able to take stock of things and get our lives back on track.

It is ok to take medication

Accepting that clinical depression concerns chemical imbalance that can only really be treated with medication. It seems strange that we are often embarrassed by the need for taking medication to regulate our mood. According to the World Health Organization, depression affects just over 120 million people worldwide. At least one fifth of the UK population will suffer from depression at some point in their lifetime. However, as well as using medication the symptoms of clinical depression will be diminished and often controlled using psychotherapy particularly using mindfulness techniques.

Causes of reactive depression

In most cases of depression the sufferer feels a victim to circumstance and subsequently feel helpless and unable to deal with or change their situation. Depression strikes us most easily when we experience that something or someone else is writing our life script. It might be that we experience loss, divorce, redundancy, or an accident. Perhaps we have a bullying manager or partner. The economy has collapsed and maybe we are about to lose the house. Maybe we have been diagnosed with an illness or perhaps our partner has. Whatever the issue the one sure thing is that we have lost control and with it self determination.

The magic of depression

This is where the eastern approach comes into its own. The person who is able to engage in therapy and, begins to understand and resolve the issues that are underpinning their symptoms, becomes very powerful indeed. Through the therapeutic process the person learns how to write their own life script, the life that they want, rather than being a bit part player in other peoples.

When people engage with their depression, rather than burying it with medication, it can become a truly life altering event. Human beings were designed with the creativity to solve problems, any problems.

Act in the present

The warning sign is when you are waking in the mornings not wanting to get out of bed and engage in the world. When this happens for too many days together, don’t delay, get into therapy as soon as you can. If you need some medication to hold you up while you do the therapeutic work that is fine, and is how the medication was designed to be used.

Most importantly learn to pick up the pen of life and write your own script. In your life story you should be the hero/heroine. All good stories have happy endings.

Take care, be happy and live in the present,

Sean x

TSHP012 – What’s Your Addiction?

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What’s Coming This Episode?

How do we differentiate between an addiction and a habit? Is one worse than the other? Sean has live quite a life and has been addicted to all sorts. Now he says he’s ‘addicted to life’. Ed is addicted to oxygen and water. Oh, and information too. He’s one of those people that reaches for his phone within seconds of waking.

How about you? Do you like your habits? Let us know in the comments below.

Sean and Ed are back from their holidays and working hard. Sean talks about the latest in brain research which is pretty darn fascinating. Ed is focused on the new Premier League season. Go soccer fans!

Enjoy the show 🙂

Show Notes and Links

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TSHP011 – Fidelity in the Digital Age

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Ah, pornography. We’re all watching (well, 68% of us are apparently) yet no one’s talking about it. Sean and Ed are here to start the debate. A whole generation are growing up with it in their lives and we’re yet to see the consequences. Morality, addiction and censorship are all discussed.

Elsewhere, Sean has been playing with his leftover risotto and reading about brain research, whilst is Ed back from a week in Anglesey with his family. You should go there.

Enjoy the show!

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TSHP010 – How Do We Forgive the Unforgivable

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What’s Coming This Episode?

How quick are you to forgive? Sean is very clear – if you want to move on from a negative incident you’ll have to learn to forgive. For some, however, the idea of forgiveness is impossible to comprehend.

Sean talks candidly about his father who, for a variety of reasons, was a bit of a bugger. It took time, but Sean has forgiven him and moved on (in fact, he’s actually grateful to his Dad for a few things).

Enjoy the show and let us know where you stand on this one.

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TSHP009 – Is Love All You Need?

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Is Love All You Need? If it is, then why do we spend so much of our lives chasing other things? Sean has his own definition of love, and talks a lot about elasticity. Sean proclaims his love for Ed! So stay tuned, enjoy and let us know your thoughts in the comments on our website.

Sean is STILL running! Go Sean. Ed is remembering an old friend that passed away recently. Sean apologises for his synthetic shirts that have been rustling in recent episodes.

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TSHP008 – Rich and Unhappy

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What’s Coming This Episode?

How can it be the so many people that seemingly have it all can be so unhappy? What does wealth and richness actually mean? Life is a rich experience, and there’s far more too it than material wealth.

Sean’s been running (not rowing) and his body isn’t happy.Ed’s got high cholesterol! Go and get yours checked out too if you haven’t already!

A baby was born in the UK this week! You may have heard about it. Sean and Ed then dive in to the weeks topic with their usual verve and gusto. Here are the show notes…

Show Notes and Links

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  • Sean mentioned an app that he’s using every day, Couch to 5K. There’s also a wealth of other material available, including a podcast.
  • Ed uses Timehop on a daily basis – it’s a time machine! Honestly! Get it for your iPhone today.

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TSHP007 – The Male Revolution

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What’s Coming This Episode?

This week we’re grateful as we’e finally on iTunes and a great deal of reviews have begun to appear. Thank you one and all!

Sean goes a little news crazy to begin with but we’ll let him off because he’s got the fitness bug thanks to his ‘Couch to 5K’ regime. Ed talks briefly about the sad news regarding Cory Monteith.

The Male Revolution is here! We men are in trouble emotionally,though, at least according to Sean. Ed, the pedantic dishwasher stacker, thinks he’s pretty advanced – he’s been on a bread making course! Seriously though, the role of the male is under threat: we’re outperformed at school by our female peers, we have higher levels of health issues and even suicide.  We discuss the end of the world very briefly.

Enjoy! Thanks for listening as ever.

Show Notes and Links

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TSHP006 – The Work Life Balance Myth

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What’s Coming This Episode?

Chasing that perfect work life balance? Maybe you should come at it from another angle. This week Sean has been working with clients around the world using FaceTime. Ed has been listening to a lot of Daft Punk. We both discuss Stephen Hawking, Katie Hopkins, names and the top 5 regrets of the dying. Enjoy!

deskShow Notes and Links

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the blame game

The Blame Game – Who Do You Blame?

How do you feel when other people don’t do what you want them to or, they let you down? Do you blame them or yourself? It’s time to tak about the blame game…

It is so easy to blame other people for your own problems, angers and frustration. You can become irritated with people who do not do things the way that you want. You may see them as stupid, rude, incompetent, inconsiderate, and so on. But, is the problem theirs or yours?

The only thing in life that you will ever be able to change is yourself. What other people do and the reasons why they do it make sense to them. The outcome of their actions are their responsibility. This is what we call karma, the result of the actions.

Equally, you are responsible for your actions, and also your reactions. This is your karma. Being responsible for yourself means letting go of your expectations of others and not hanging onto the outcomes that you want.

Attachments are fixed connections to past expectations
Cravings are attachments to future expectations

Being attached to or craving a desired outcome is a recipe for disappointment that can leave you feeling angry, offended, hurt or disappointed. The simple truth is that in all of your interactions with others if you had not had an expectation in the first place you would not have been disappointed.

Allowing people to be what they are reduces your stress

The law of allowing is a magical thing that allows you to be who and what you are at the same time allowing others to be who and what they are.

If you don’t like what is happening change yourself

If you feel let down or disappointed by someone’s behaviour then your expectation of that person was wrong. If you want to feel different then change your expectation of that person.

Blame may not be that helpful

I don’t like the concepts of fault and blame, they do not really help us very much. I prefer the concept of responsibility that suggest the ability to respond -respondability. If you are responsible for the way that you feel, without the need to blame others, you cease to be a victim of other peoples problems and become the author of your own destiny.

Without blame you have power. Enjoy your power and be happy.

Take care,
Sean x