Are you selfish enough?

You are being selfish, is that so bad?

Is it wrong to be paying attention to your own wants, needs, and well-being? If you believe that selfish behaviour is immoral or bad then you may be just missing the point. The question is what is life all about?

When you were born your life was, and is, about you and your fulfilment and happiness. We often believe that a good person is someone who thinks of others first. It is as though it is more blessed to give than to receive. Is that really true

I like the idea that charity begins at home. In the idea that I can only allow you to love me, if I love me first. If I don’t love me then how can I allow you to love me As well? If I don’t love me and you say “I love you”, then I will think that your are mad. Why on earth would you want to love or like me if I see myself as not good enough?

Thinking of yourself first seems to contradict the idea of positivity, something that we Brits can see as arrogance. Yet what becomes clear is that self-prioritising and attending to your own needs and wellbeing allows you to be emotionally fit enough to attend to the needs of others.

There is an odd paradox.

We all do what we do because we (selfishly) feel that it is the right thing to do

When Mother Theresa looks after the poor of Calcutta it is not that she is a saint, it is that she is doing what she feels is the right thing for her to do. What we see as saintliness may just as easily be termed selfishness.

For example I choose to work with others as a therapist. Many people will tell me and others that I am a wonderful person waxing lyrical about what a good chap I am. The reality is that I choose to use my life energy to support other -people because it makes me feel good or I would not do it. It is based on my basic belief that…

If we all look after each other then we will all be ok

Selfishness is actually normal and as it should be. The positive people do what they do because it makes sense to them to do it. In that sense we are all ultimately selfish.

I believe that we are all selfish. We all do what we do because it makes sense to us. The doctor, banker, nurse, businessman, care mechanic, shop worker…..

Mindful selfishness
When our own needs and desires are in tune with other people so that the things that we are doing are of benefit to others then we are a positive influence. Those that are truly mindful are able to move beyond their own ego need to include the needs of others.

If I am selfish and my self includes my family, community, culture, my religion, my nation, or even the whole of humanity then I identify you as myself. If I identify you as myself why would I want to hurt you, be unhappy, go to war with you, allow you to starve or be homeless.

At the point where human beings are totally selfish and see all of creation as them self then we have got the point of being alive and being a part of creation. We are all one and we all care for each other as we care for ourself.

Be selfish and look after yourself

Sean X

1 reply

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] Sean wrote a blog post on this subject. Have a read… […]

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.