Archive for month: March, 2016

Are the things that happen to you your choice or are they already determined? Do you have a future you can create or a destiny that you cannot? Is your life and the things that will and have happened to you a written script that has already been written or do you have free will? Is the day and time of your birth and the day and time of your death already set?

This week on the podcast Steph asked Ed and I to discuss this, a very interesting topic.

If we have no free will then there is little point, as far as I can see it, doing anything as the things that happen in life are set so we have little choice other than to make the best of whatever life deals us. On the other hand if freewill does exist then we are the masters of our universe and we can create and do the things that we want.

No freewill = a life where we have problems to endure. Freewill = a life where we have challenges to resolve and overcome.

At Live In The Present we run courses and therapy for people that wish to change some aspect of their life. For some this is easier than for others. For many they can find it the hardest thing in the world. We work from the basis that we all have freewill and that life is not deterministic, but is it?

The way that I see it is that we all have freewill but our free will is limited. This is the same as the nature versus nurture debate. Our genes may limit us and therefore our freewill. If I only have one leg yet desire to run a mile or, I might be short and desire to be tall, I may have curly hair but I want it to be straight. We are all limited or challenged by our genes.

With free will someone with one leg, a “unidexter”, can run or hop a mile, it may just take them longer than someone with two legs, a “biped” but not necessarily. A short person could have their bones lengthened, a painful though successful process. And someone with curly hair can use shampoos and straighteners to get their hair how they want it to look.

People overcome blindness, dyslexia, and cognitive impairment and so on to achieve university degrees and write books. Think about Stephen Hawkins and all that he has achieved despite his disability.

So our ability to act freely may be limited by our genes, circumstances or accidents. It could also be limited by family expectations, education, socialisation, culture, religion, and ethnicity. However we do have the freedom, the freewill, to overcome such limitations.

Concepts precede percepts
However, the biggest limiter of freewill is having, or not having, the concept of freewill in the first place. If as a child I am taught that that I do not have freewill and I believe it then, I will be limited by whatever system I believe to be true. If on the other hand my learning is that I do have freewill, that I am self-determining and that I can achieve whatever it is that I put my mind to the only limit would be the extent of my imagination.

When looking at freewill we must also be aware of religious belief. Concepts of heaven and hell, reward and punishment that will and do shape behaviour. If our belief is that to act violently to the non-believers of our faith will get me a better deal in paradise, valhalla or heaven then warlike behaviour becomes more understandable.

I would say that for all of us to be able to enact freewill what we need is will power, but what is will power?

Well, ‘Power’, as an engineer would define it, is ‘the ability to do work’. Engines and motors are all rated by their ability to complete the task required, they have a power rating, normally described at it’s horse power. Power, when associated to us is our ability to complete the task before us, to do what we need to do. For some the task will be a problem and for others a challenge. Willpower is our ability to enact our freewill, it is freewill power.

When we enact freewill power the tasks that we set ourself can be seen as challenges to be faced and overcome. Challenges can then be related to plans and strategies that take us to the solution or goal.

When we feel that life is deterministic and predetermined it is easy to see the tasks that we have not as challenges but as a problems. It can so easily all become so much more difficult to deal with. At this point people commonly become stuck, demotivated, lose direction and, often give up. This is where the need for freewill power comes in.

A quick Google of ‘Will’ results in…

1. the faculty by which a person decides on and initiates action.”she has an iron will”
2. synonyms: determination, firmness of purpose, fixity of purpose, will power, strength of character, resolution, resolve, resoluteness, purposefulness, single-mindedness, drive, commitment, dedication, doggedness, tenacity, tenaciousness, staying power, backbone, spine.

I see ‘Will’ as persistence and consistence action towards a defined goal.

The goal might be physical, social, intellectual, emotional, financial, business etc,etc, absolutely anything, there are no limits. Here are some tips that might help you get your head around freewill power,

1: Set a goal
To achieve anything you need to be clear about what it is that you want or where you are going. The lack of clarity at the outset will often lead to failure. The clearer the goal the easier the result. If your answer to the question “what do you want?” is “I want to be happy” this will not work for you, it is too vague. To be clear you have to know what it looks like, feels like, smells like, what colour it is, what shape it is.
Tip: Write your goal as a sentence or descriptive paragraph. If you can explain it clearly to another person then you will know what it is.

2: Resources
What do you need? Resources may include ideas and images, plans and organisation, money and other practical resources, market testing to make sure that it works, and the physical manifestation of the idea in the physical world. It is important to realise that other people are also resources.
Tip: Write it all down and share it with someone else. Perhaps a mentor and get their feedback.

3: Plan
A plan is like creating a route that describes the journey you will take to your destination. But plans are never set in stone. A good plan is flexible and can adapt to changes and unforeseen challenges.
Tip: To move a project from idea to goal requires a plan. By using mind maps , spider diagrams are a good way of setting out your ideas on a flat piece of paper that can then be moved into a plan with a timeline.

4: Mentorship
There is no need to reinvent the wheel. On the basis that you can do things the easy way or the hard way, learning from other people’s mistakes can make it much easier. If you talk to other people, use a mentor or a coach you can save your self so much time, avoid making mistakes and allow someone else to feed and energise your freewill.
Tip: You will be amazed at the people who will be prepared to help you. All you have to do is ask. Many people will help you for free some, such as coaches, will charge a fee. You may have someone in mind already, you may need to talk to people and ask around you maybe even family members.

5: Stay focussed
The ability to remain on task will normally mean the ability to live in the present. That requires that you let go of the past and stop worrying about the future. In short, this is the contents of the Live in the Present book. On a daily basis we recommend that you use Mindfulness to enhance your ability to stay focused, this means some ‘zoning’ time every day. The ‘Mindfulness Toolkit’ from the LITP site will be of use to you especially the ‘morning focus’ and the ‘evening review’.
Tip: Take time out every day to clear and focus your mind. We also recommend Headspace, Meditationoasis and One moment meditation.

6: Stay Motivated
Everyone on every project will find times when their energy has gone or is very low so that it is really hard to get going or keep going. So, build this into your time line and your plan so that you have extra time to take it easy when you need to. Look after yourself, take time out and make sure you have some fun. ‘Down time’, (R&R) rest and recuperation, is a good time to review and audit where you are up to and to decide if things need to be changed or adapted.
Tip: Expect to need some ‘down time’, allow for the fact that you will need to take breaks and have fun.

7: Get Networking
Every week groups of people meet to network. These are often business groups but there are other interest groups like writers groups or self help groups. These are really useful to keep you motivated, focused and on track.
Tip: Google your area and find groups of people that you can network with.

8: Get The Freewill Power Habit
Freewill power, like every other behaviour that we have, is a habit. A habit is something that we do without thinking about it, we just do it. If your habit is to keep going, despite the challenges then that it is simply what you do.
Tip: We know that to develop a habit takes an initial 30 days of consistent and persistent activity. This creates new brain cells, that is the neural circuit, that is the new habit. However, to get this habit into longterm memory so that it is there forever takes a further 60 days. To create the will power habit takes 90 days of persistent, consistent behaviour.

Once we get rid of the limits of deterministic thinking we become open to using freewill power. We may think that freewill power is a magical ability that only a few have. The reality is that we all have freewill power once we decide to tap into it. Anyone can contact their freewill power as an everyday habit by working persistently and consistently towards a given goal.

Take care and be free to become all that you desire

Sean x

A listener messaged to ask about being self assertive. For me the issues of self assertion and confidence run together. Confident people find it easier to assert themselves and people who are self assertive will tend to be more confident. A bit of a chicken and egg situation. I guess our starting point is what is self assertion?

In Britain we tend to confuse assertiveness with arrogance yet they are very different. The Cambridge English dictionary defines arrogance as ‘unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you are more important than, or know more than other people’.

It defines assertiveness as ‘someone who behaves confidently and is not frightened to say what they want or believe.’ I would add onto to those two definitions that I often see those who are arrogant as lacking empathy with a tendency to railroad their demands whereas assertive people have empathy and are able to communicate their needs and desires while taking other people’s views, and needs, into account.

So for me it is assertion = good and arrogance = bad.

Arrogant behaviour can also include aggression to enforce it’s demands. Assertive people have the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive.

In social history we have examples of people who have been able to be assertive, on the global stage, in the face of arrogant and aggressive behaviour. For them this is peace versus violence. In recent history Nelson Mandela opted for an assertive approach in facing racial apartheid in South Africa and he adopted an assertive, but cooperative, approach with the truth and reconciliation committee once his goals had been achieved. Martin Luther King used peaceful self assertion in the face of segregation and discrimination in the USA and although the forces of arrogance and violence did eventually kill him his goal was reached. Though the struggle for freedom and the equality of all peoples continues. Mahatma Gandhi, leader of India, used peaceful assertiveness to end British colonial rule in the Indian subcontinent. Sadly he was unable to overcome all of the aggressive arrogance of his fellow Indians that led to the splitting of the subcontinent into what we now know as Pakistan, India and Bangladesh.

There are also many examples in social history of those who used aggressive arrogance to get their own way. The big hitters are the Roman Empire, Attila the Hun, the various European empires, and now the modern larger more powerful countries, the USA, Russia and now potentially China, there continue to be the ravages of various religious groups not least of all Christianity and the individual personalities from Hitler, through the various despots in African and European countries right through to our own Tony Blair and Americas George Bush.

One good thing that history shows us is these negative behaviours do not last forever and good, or so it would appear, wins through in the end.
If you review your life you will be able to remember people who were assertive and those that were aggressive. The strange thing is that in most cases both approaches can have the same effect as the person does get what they want. However, aggressive arrogance is ultimately destructive while peaceful assertion is constructive. Individually we have a choice.

Assertiveness like both behaviours is a skill or habit that is first learned then practiced. If you want to be assertive here are some ideas that may help you.

1: Know what you want
It can be hard to assert an opinion or idea if you are unclear of what you are thinking, meeting or needing. In any interaction in which you need to assert your desires or point of view be very clear about what you want, what is the end game for you?

2: Broken record
When you are clear about your required outcome but the other person will not listen or talks over you try using the broken record technique. This is to simply repeat your point of view, same words in the same way every time you are opposed or expected to do something that you do not want to do. This works particularly well when someone will not take no for and answer. It is version of ‘which part of no do you not understand’ but less controversial, as repeating the same words does not directly challenge the other person.

3: Fogging or Hazing
This is when you avoid direct confrontation by creating fog. If you agree with the antagonist but then state your point of view. In your agreement you validate the person and what they are saying this can defuse them enough for you to state your own point of view…

“ I get what you mean, however….”
“ That is a really good point, perhaps we could also…”
“ An amazing idea but…”
” Yeah, I thought of doing it that way but then I realised…”
” I agree with you that, this and that. However we need to treat this that and the other in a different way …”

4: Owning
‘I’ statements can be used to voice one’s feelings and wishes from a personal position without expressing a judgment about the other person. When I own the statement, feeling or argument I am not blaming the other person for my feelings. Using owning techniques can encourage the person to be more open to supporting us.

” It may just be me but I get the feeling that…”
” I have real problems with that…”
” When you say that it makes me feel… Is that what you wanted?”
” Please can you help with this one, I don’t get why you are saying/thinking/ feeling/doing…?”

The rightness of being able to assert your point of view if beyond doubt. The problems come from your belief that it is true. You are worth the skin that you stand up in and you do have an indisputable right to your point of view. Learning to be assertive is just another habit that, if you practice, you will become good at.

A word of warning. If the antagonist is in a real position of authority it may be that no matter what you do to assert yourself you will not be heard and you may need to, or be required to, move on. This is not a failure, its facing the reality of who you are and who or what your are involved in.

The second thing is being aware of psychopathy. It is said that when you confront a bully they will back down. Well, this is true unless they are a psychopath. A psychopath is someone who lacks empathic insight and therefore lacks emotional awareness, empathy, conscience or care. In dealing with a psychopath the best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut and move, as quickly as possible away from them.

Take care and assert your right to be you.

Sean X

Carnivores, pescatarians, vegetarians, fruitarians, vegans, all have good reasons for following their own dietary paths. For some food is just fuel while for others it is a culinary delight. Some fear food and the effects that it will have on their bodies and they become anorexic. While others become bulimic and throw up all that they eat. Thousands and thousands of people follow diets and detox plans and there are those who do or don’t eat certain foods for religious reasons. Food is certainly an emotive issue that effects us all everyday even if we only see food as fuel and a chore that must be done.

What do you eat and why?

This week on the podcast Ed and I were joined by Marissa, who is the director of the Vegan Lifestyle Association – Tea Lover -and Public Health, Nutrition and Psychology researcher. We were discussing food, what we eat and why we eat it. We each came from differing eating habits Ed as a carnivore, me as a veggie with some leanings towards pescatarianism and Marissa as a vegan.

Why not eat meat?
My own feelings about not eating meat are not to do with health but with the ethical issue of killing animals to eat. I had a farm for a while and faced the issue of meat eating head on. I think if we all had to kill our own meat then many of us would become vegetarian. When you have raised an animal and know it well, they become more than animals they are people, personalities and understandably they do not want to die, they will fight you for their life.

There is another issue beyond the health and ethical issues of a meat eating diet is that of sustainability and our ability as humans to continue living on planet Earth. It takes so much more land to produce meat than plant protein that in end they we will eventually run out of space. This may also be true even if we all went veggie tomorrow.

David Pimentel and Marcia Pimentel -From the Department of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology, Cornell University, Ithaca, NY.
Sustainability of meat-based and plant-based diets and the environment

Abstract
Worldwide, an estimated 2 billion people live primarily on a meat-based diet, while an estimated 4 billion live primarily on a plant-based diet. The US food production system uses about 50% of the total US land area, 80% of the fresh water, and 17% of the fossil energy used in the country. The heavy dependence on fossil energy suggests that the US food system, whether meat-based or plant-based, is not sustainable. The use of land and energy resources devoted to an average meat-based diet compared with a lactoovovegetarian (plant-based) [including eggs and milk] diet is analysed in this report. In both diets, the daily quantity of calories consumed are kept constant at about 3533 kcal per person. The meat-based food system requires more energy, land, and water resources than the lactoovovegetarian diet. In this limited sense, the lactoovovegetarian diet is more sustainable than the average American meat-based diet.

Diary and growth hormones
It is hard to find anything good to say about dairy products. Basically, dairy is designed to raise a calf to become an adult cow or bull. This means that it is full of growth hormone, a fatal disaster for tumours and really not helpful for Prostate glands.

Ethics Vs Health
If you choose to eat for health you have to decide where what you are eating comes from and whether the issues of chemicals and treatment are acceptable to your health regime. If your eating regime is ethical you will need to research theocracies of what you are eating. If food for you is simply fuel then enjoy it.

The future of food
It seems that if we maintain or increase the worlds population there will come a time when we will not be able to feed ourselves using standard farming techniques. To survive we will need to get into factory farming in a big way. This may raise both ethical and health issues.

However you eat, do it mindfully and be happy

Take care

Sean X